𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

starving

A/N: Wow, another chapter?!?! I have quite a few more chapters in the works at the moment, so expect some more updates soon! :D

The days that followed were filled with despair, the boys practically walking on eggshells around you because they could clearly see that your smile wasn't genuine. You looked tired, and you had very prominent eye bags even though (if anything) you had been sleeping for longer those past few days.

After being scolded by that staff member at the company, you had begun to grow really obsessive about your weight. You were practically starving yourself, mainly just living on lots of water and some snacks here and there. In less than a week, you had already visibly lost quite a bit of weight.

You had found ways to discreetly, but quickly, lose weight in an attempt to hide what was going on from the boys. You knew they would be furious if they found out about the way you were spoken to about your weight and how strict they had been. You would purposely set your alarms until the last minute so you had no choice but to skip breakfast in the mornings, or tell the boys that you had eaten throughout the day even though you hadn't.

Since you guys were now only preparing for the album and had no schedules, you were able to get away with the boys not knowing. You wore clothes, mainly the boys' hoodies, that were really big for you so they were unable to tell how much skinner you had become. Your arms were now really thin, as well as your waist and thighs. Your cheeks had become slightly sunken-in too, but the weight loss was mainly noticeable on your body.

The same staff member who initially came to speak to you was constantly checking your weight or asking for updates, and although you were losing it she still kept telling you that you had to lose a little more. You had become really lethargic, and just constantly feeling sluggish. You knew you were losing too much weight, and you wanted to stop, but you couldn't. The staff member was constantly making you feel guilty for not being 'light enough' (in her view at least).

The thought of the way the staff member scolded you was still fresh in your mind, eating away at your thoughts. You were still thinking about the truth behind her words. You didn't want to disappoint the fans, or your members. What she said was completely true, regardless of how harshly she said it; it was a known fact that you were criticised the most compared to your members for being the only female member and for being able to make it into the industry at such a young age, you couldn't give people another reason to look down on you or the rest of your group. You didn't want to embarrass your boys. They worked so hard to debut, you couldn't ruin that for them just because you didn't want to lose a bit of weight.

Another thing you had started to do was work out. Because the company was never really worried about your weight previously they never made you work out like they did some of the other trainees, and because of your hand condition it was often quite painful for you. But now, you were so desperate to lose weight and had been feeling so bad that you stopped caring about the state of your hand and instead working out whenever you had some free time. You were either at the company for group practices, the gym, or the dorms. Even at the dorms you would lock yourself in your bedroom or the bathroom to get in some more workouts while the other boys were spending time together in the living room.

You had also been avoiding a lot of affection from the boys, not initiating or accepting any skinship with them so they wouldn't be able to that you were becoming so skinny. They picked up on the way you were avoiding them but chose not to confront you about it. They knew you were sad about something so they didn't want to upset you further, so they gave you the space they thought you needed.

Only one of them knew what was actually going on.

When you were called out and scolded, Felix heard the conversation but chose to keep quiet about it. He happened to be stood right by the door, and because you were conversing quite close to the practice room door is wasn't difficult for him to listen in. He heard a short part of the conversation, but he had gotten the gist of it pretty quickly so he didn't need to stand by the door any longer since he knew what was probably being said.