Chastised

Alone

We were on another hunt; it was our sixth one this week and Dean wasn't showing any signs of slowing down. I knew it was because Sam is gone. He fell into the cage with Lucifer, Michael and our little brother Adam. Adam became Michael's vessel since Dean refused and he showed regret from the very moment he knew about Adam's decision.

I was staring out of the passenger window as he punched the gas causing the Impala to lurch forward down the open road before us. We were meeting Castiel at a small diner in this little town in Colorado to catch up on the information he already found. As we slid into the parking spot, I opened the passenger door hugging one of Dean's jackets tighter around me as the cold brisk air of Colorado smacked against my body. This was a dark blue jean jacket that I constantly stole from him; eventually he gave up trying to get it back. Dean was walking ahead of me, opening the door so I could walk through before him. I headed towards the booth where Cas was sitting; sliding into the booth bench across from him, moving over so Dean could scoot in next to me.

Cas nodded in greeting at the two of us, not wasting any time, he jumped right into the information on this case.

"The bodies at the morgue were mauled by something with fangs and they are not wolf fangs as the coroner thinks. From the looks of it, it's vampires."

"Ok cool an in and out vamp case, easy enough. It'll allow us to get back on the road quickly." Dean stated as he stared out into the night emotionless.

"Back on the road?" I looked over at him in both disappointment and anger.

"Dean, we've been on the road for days. Can't we sleep somewhere other than the Impala for one night, please? I'll take an old musty motel room at this rate, my neck and back hurt so bad from the car."

I was getting sick of being stuck in the car. He barely said two words unless it was about a case. I was beginning to feel like it was a prison on wheels and I was only granted leave when something needed to be killed.

Castiel started to say something but was cut off by Dean responding to my plea.

"Seriously, Ange? There are things out there that need to be put down and that's our job; to put them down." He argued turning his body towards me to make it clear he would not budge on his decision.

"Dean, we've been at this for months, I need a break. You need a break!" I all but yelled.

"I don't need a break, I need to kill every last demon, monster, and anything else out there that may be helping Hell." He growled at me.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms knowing I was not going to get what I wanted. He was beginning to worry me. He wouldn't slow down, just kept running, pushing himself to the limit, even though his limit had passed two hunts back. He was going to end up running himself ragged and getting himself killed.

"You're trying to get yourself killed." I quietly realized.

Dean and Castiel both turned their attention to me.

"What do you mean, Angel?" Castiel asked.

He had opted to call me by my full name from the moment he met me, saying Angel fit me better than Ange or Angie. I looked at him, sadness filling my eyes.

I looked over to my brother. My oldest brother- the one who always wore the weight of the world on his shoulders. The one who made it his personal mission to protect and save everyone. The one who was placing the blame of Sam being pulled to Hell on himself.

I finally saw it in his eyes. He had done so well to hide his anger and pain from me. He was doing so well keeping his rage at bay, only letting it out during hunts, but in that very moment of my realization he knew that figured it out.

"Dean knows exactly what I mean, don't you Dean?" I asked staring hard into his eyes.

"Just let it go, Ange." He spoke in defeat. He had given up. The light that used to dance around in his eyes was no longer there. They were now filled with a darkness from the guilt, anger, and pain that consumed him. He had no fight left in him.

I stood slamming my palms down on the table causing Cas to jump. Dean didn't even flinch.

"No. No, I won't be a part of your suicide mission. If you want to take on the demon world one battle after another with no rest, then so be it, but I will not stand by and watch my big brother kill willingly himself."

The rage flashed in my eyes, the anger made me feel like my insides were vibrating. It made Dean lean back slightly and Castiel stand abruptly.

"Angel, what did you just do?" he asked brows furrowed, eyes filled with concern and slight fear.

I looked up to Castiel not understanding what he was neither asking nor caring at the time. I ignored the fact that he was looking at me as if he'd never seen me before. I brushed him off, turning my attention back to my brother.

"As I said, I will not stand by and watch you kill yourself so if that's what your play is, I'm out." I moved towards him, pushing against his thigh making it known I wanted out of the booth.

He slid out, still looking at me the same way Cas was.

"So that's it?" I crossed my arms glaring at him. "You're going to let me walk away, just like that? You're not going to try and give me some bullshit line about not wanting to die; you just don't want to be sitting around wasting time; blah, blah, blah?"

I was now standing in front of him staring at him expectantly, waiting for any sign that I was wrong. When he didn't give me one, I turned around bumping my shoulder against Castiel's as I walked by. When I reached the door I turned back around giving him one more chance to stop me, to tell me the thoughts that were running around my mind were wrong. That I was just overreacting like us Winchester's do; but he didn't have anything to say, he only shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. With that I pushed the door open and walked out into the black of night, alone.