Healing Myself

Löwe

Last night, all of us had a lot of fun. We had dinner and got into the typical pillow fights, painted each other's nails, my real short ones a lilac color, and watched the entire season 2 of Legacies.

This morning, however, when we were all having breakfast I got a call from mom reminding me that I had my appointment with Dr. Phil in the afternoon. I had wanted to stay with the girls a little longer but being a no-show to a doctor's appointment was pretty bad. Not to mention, I liked Dr. Phil. So I got dressed in a cropped lilac sweater to match my nail paint and a pair of light blue mom jeans and headed home.

My outfit choice wasn't the trendiest, as Carla and Danielle had pointed out, but it was comfy and I liked it. Danielle had wanted me to wear a skirt, she thought it would go well with the sweater, but I didn't have one at Lake's so that suggestion didn't go anywhere far. Karen and Danielle thought I had outfits at hers because of girl code or something and I guess it could be very easily taken that way. Lake and I weren't team members, heck, I wasn't even officially Academy yet, but it was basic training and we carried through with it.

When I got home it was just mom and me and after I told her everything we'd done, she looked very happy. We'd all been affected by what had happened, but dad had Academy jobs and mom had writing as a way of reprieve. Me being holed up in my room had certainly cast a gloom in our home and now that I'd been, and was going to be out and about, it seemed to be lifting away from our roof.

I didn't have anything to do until the appointment and it wouldn't take long to get to the Academy hospital so I decided to just go to the woods and relax. I'd started with wandering aimlessly but soon I knew exactly where I was going.

10, 15, 20 steps.

Another 5.

I was tracing the carving we'd made as silly kids. I think I heard something, or someone, but I was in too much of a trance to focus on it. I had a feeling whoever it was wasn't going to hurt me anyway. I began making my way up the rope ladder and could hear someone jogging away as I did.

As I entered the treehouse, they were all I could see. Memories, memories, memories. Memories everywhere. Memories in the carved wooden board that said 'Sang'. Dad had done it right in front of me when we'd first come here and he had shown me the little home that would soon become my most treasured hideout.

Memories in the hundred something drawings we'd made as kids tacked up on the walls.

Memories in the UNO cards, the 7 Wonders box, the Twister board sitting neatly stacked up in one of the corners.

Memories in the three bean bags, one of them a little teared up because of a tragic sword duel.

Memories in the little Alex from Madagascar figurine on the centre of the round table placed in the middle of the room.

"Why Löwe?" Dylan asks out of the blue. We are sitting on his twin bed, doing today's homework, when he asks this very random question. Except, it's not random.

Dylan's always going around giving me different nicknames, although Sunshine is his favourite, and since we started dating, I've decided to get involved in this practice too. Apparently, I'm pretty bad at it.

It's hard though. Boys can call their girlfriends just about anything and all of a sudden it's a nickname. Moonlight, Sunshine, Chocolate, Cupcake, Sweetie, Nuttie, Itty, Bitty, Apple Pie, Pumpkin Pie, Doll, Barbie, Butterfly, Kitten, Giggles, Skittles. It's endless. I'm pretty sure Dylan could give me a smile and call me paperclip and I'll die from happiness.

What do you call boyfriends? I honestly don't know. So I've been surfing the internet to find a nice nickname for him. Nothing seems to cut it though. And with good reason. I'm seriously not in favor of calling him hot stuff or baby daddy, no matter how weirdly popular they seem to be.

A few days ago I was going through my german language dictionary when the word 'Löwe' seemed to just pop up. I knew its meaning, of course, we'd learnt it in 6th grade. It meant lion, but at the time when I saw it, the word that I had immediately associated it with was 'love' because the umlauts above the 'o' had faded a little. Then I had started thinking, naturally, of my own love.

I look up from my notebook, clicking the back of my pen to close it. I smile at him. "I saw it in the dictionary the other day and it reminded me of you."

"But why?", he inquires, curiosity making his eyes shimmer like liquid gold. My eyes roam his ethereal features. Amber eyes, fiery red hair, a strong jaw. He was gentle in nature, but everything else about him was fierce. Like a lion. From his appearance to his love for his family, and somehow, even for me.

I completely turn toward him before voicing my thoughts. "You obviously know what it means." He nods his head, a confused little frown forming in the middle of his eyebrows. I smoothen it with my thumb, before moving my hand to the side of his face, caressing the apple of his left cheek. Dylan's alluring lips lift in a soft smile and I know my expression mirrors his. It's completely involuntary, this reaction of mine, but I don't stop it. Why would I, when it makes his face light up like it does?

My voice is soft when I speak. "Your emotions, your eyes, they are so fierce and passionate. Like a lion. As I read it, I also couldn't help but think how it sounded so similar to 'love'. And I love you. So, Löwe."

"Thank you, Sang. For loving me. And letting me love you."

•••••

AN: I wrote this chapter almost a week ago and when I was looking it over this morning to check for any errors, I couldn't help but cringe at how corny it all sounded. But I remember practically melting on the inside when I was actually writing it. So.....

QOTD: Did you think this chapter was corny too?

Hope you guys liked it anyway. Have a great week!