You've Only Just Arrived (a Tom Hiddleston fan fiction)

Part 29

That night is the start of the onslaught of questions that stings with every syllable.

"What came first _____? The fight with Tom or Benedict's declaration?"

"Are you and Benedict dating now? Going to start?"

"Who broke it off? You or Tom?"

You can't keep smiling so you let your face fall into a neutral expression.

"It's been a long day guys. Please let us through." The group moves only slightly. Richard, bless him, is the only reason you're making any headway.

 "Did he ever compare you to her?"

"How long has it been going on? Since London?"

Richard finally gets you through the crowd but the last question makes you freeze in your steps. The crowd on the sidewalk takes that as a sign that you'll start responding and move forward, their shouts growing louder.

Before you can fully turn to start yelling at whomever asked the question Richard yanks you back into motion. After he shuts the door behind the both of you he rounds on you. "Never, ever, stop like that." You nod, still trying to figure out exactly why you wanted to yell at the person who'd spoken.

Every day follows the same format now. You run. You work. You eat. You sleep. Repeat. You've taken to wearing headphones during your morning routine to tune out the continued questions. Eventually they'll stop, right?

The photos circulating are worse that hearing the same damned questions day after day. They publish images from when you had gone out to lunch with Ben during the Jack & Emily production next to ones of Tom out with his ex and then make comparisons. Worse still are the ones of you and Tom compared to the pair of them. His body language here speaks volumes...He'd clearly moved on.

You thought about starting to use your off days to go home to find a safe haven from all the insanity. Doing that would only cause the media to follow and descend upon your friends and family back home. And the job offers continue to pour in. Might as well do something that will keep your mind busy. The steady work does nothing when you have to fight through the sea of paparazzi to get anywhere, particularly when you have to battle through them to gain entrance to what now appears will be a permanently lonesome home.

You'd bought it thinking you'd be at a different point in your life, thinking failed relationships were a thing of your past. It's just slightly too large for one person. To try to prevent fuel from being added to the fire you stop inviting Benedict over. You even turn away Matt when he asks if he can bring over ice cream and alcohol and daydream with you about the Touring Sundays sequel. You'll be spending time with him soon enough.

Despite all the media attention the friendship between you and Ben is still intact. Apparently the same can be said for that between Ben and Tom. Benedict hasn't yet given up hope that you and Tom will reconnect, though. Every time Benedict tries to broach the topic you quickly steer the conversation elsewhere. At first it was out of anger, then out of stubbornness, and finally, now – it is an unwillingness to drag Tom back into the media mess that is your life.

You've tortured yourself enough with the same series of photos - Tom in the arms of his ex. Some days you have your finger hovering over the call button, determined to end the silence that has stretched on for so long. In this last week of filming before the end of Jack & Emily you're to the point you're willing to stay nearby when Ben's on the phone with Tom, just to hear Tom's voice. Unless Richard or Matt have been fielding phone calls from Tom as well, this is the last week you'll be able to do that.

When Ben rings off this time he shakes his head at you, "______, you know he calls whenever he knows you're around in the hopes you'll take the phone from me and talk to him."

It's a nice thought. Not true, probably. But still, a nice thought. "No he doesn't, Ben, but thanks for saying that."

You'll start filming the Touring Sundays sequel soon, which adds another layer of torture into the mix. Every new detail you learn you want to share with Tom, fanboy over the film that he is – was. Did he only like the film because you were in it? Just in case, you tell Benedict a few details, knowing the information will work its way to Tom. The rest of the revelations about the project you leave for the announcement at the upcoming convention they'll be having in town. They haven't specifically asked that you attend but you've never gone before and the timing is perfect. You'll even get to see Ben taking part in a panel.

Richard cocks his head curiously at you as soon as you mention wanting to go. "I thought you've had your fill of crowds lately."

"Ben asked me to go. Last big hurrah now that we're nearly done with Jack & Emily."

"I'm surprised you're taking a day away from some form of work." Richard chuckles at you. You've kept him busy shuttling you around town, which probably hadn't been the original plan when he and Mark spelled out the details of being your bodyguard.

You consider Richard for a moment. He's not exactly arguing against you going, just not fully supporting it either. At work the next day Ben is thrilled to hear you'll be at his panel. "You and Richard just need to go to this specific entrance and –" he hands you the passes you'll need along with a map of the building so you'll go to the right door. "You'll love it _____."

You're still studying the map. "So where in this maze will you be for your panel?" None of that information is on the sheet. You glance up at Ben questioningly.

He ruffles his hand through his hair. "I made you a custom copy. You didn't need all the information for the rest of the week on there. Hall H." As soon as he points you see his handwritten labels over the massive room. It will be quite the panel.

For the entire week of the convention your morning running group has pretty much trimmed back down to the initial dedicated group. It seems there is finally something else that better attracts their attention and you can finally run without having your music blaring in your ears.

Peace, finally – until you and Richard get to the convention. There are people everywhere – some in costume, some not. You let Richard navigate the way through the building while you tap out a message to Benedict to let him know you've arrived. You get a response quickly.

Previous panel is running long. See if they'll let you in the back. Once things calm down I'll meet up with you.

You relay the direction to Richard who nods and continues his beeline through the crowd. You try to read the board beside the doors to see what panel was running long but Richard is partially blocking the words. You can at least spot Benedict's name towards the middle of the board – had Ben even told you the movie title? You're a horrible friend, you can't even remember. Richard already has the door cracked open just enough to let the pair of you enter.

You pocket your phone, only just remembering to make sure it's on vibrate as you enter the overly large room. Benedict wasn't wrong when he said they were running long - the question and answer period is still going on. You aren't really paying attention to what is being said, instead looking up to the front at the screen to see the well-traveled photograph of Tom and his ex. You really should amend that in your head – she's his girlfriend now – you're the ex.

That's when the screen switches back to video and you can clearly see the panel members. At least seven people sit behind the long table onstage. There, at the end of the table, sits Tom.

God damn it Ben. You set this whole thing up.