Daybreak

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Light was shining through the lids of my eyes as I suddenly gained consciousness. Slowly with a soft moan of exhaustion I fluttered my eyes open to be confronted with the now sunlit lounge we had taken refuge in. I was propped up against the wall next to the stove which now had smoldering embers glowing inside. I then looked down at my chest to see Hannah clutching my chest tightly like a koala, fast asleep. I smiled slightly as she breathed slowly, she looked so much better already. She was no longer deathly pale but had flushed cheeks and her neck wound was no longer bleeding through her bandage.

Slowly as to not wake her up I tried to peel her away from me but apparently she was too comfortable because she just tightened her grip in her sleep. Chuckling slightly at the child like behaviour I gently shook her, she gave a start before slowly opening her eyes. She rubbed her eyes with one hand before looking up at me, "hey" I said quietly and she smiled at me bemusedly. "I don't mean to wake you like this but is it okay if you could sleep without crushing my rib cage?" Hannah jumped as if suddenly realising what she was doing and seemed much more awake as she pulled herself away from me. "Oh!" she said rather confusedly and I laughed, "sorry" she said rather cautiously as she started playing with her shirt avoiding my eyes as I continued to chuckle.

"It's fine!" I said "don't worry" and she looked up at me, "my arm was just numb and I though I'd rather not lose it due to lack of blood!" she blushed at my comment and looked down again. "On a more serious note, how are you feeling?" I asked, "much better" she replied, still not quite meeting my eyes, "Thanks to you I'm not bleeding at all and the pain is much better". "So it's manageble with painkillers?" I asked and she nodded, "good!" I said brightly "how about breakfast?" Hannah nodded fervently and I stood up with a stretch to pick up more wood to burn from the smashed furniture. "You lie down" I said and she nodded her thanks and I turned round to the furniture as she lay down in her sleeping bag.

Within minutes I had a can of beans simmering away on the stove as Hannah sat up in her sleeping bag watching me prepare the food. "So" I started over the sound of bubbling beans "You think you're well enough to continue?". Hannah's face fell and I didn't fail to notice this, I asked "what's wrong?". She sighed and said "I'm pretty sure I am well enough to continue, but..." she glanced up at me quickly before continuing "but...I don't know if i want to...I feel comfortable here..." I sighed too, I knew exactly what she meant, I almost completely forgot about the horrors outside while I was in this little corner of this litte lounge.

"I know" I said to her and she looked up, hopeful that I would call off our journey, "but we have to get back to NATO". Hannah looked back down again, I shuffled over to her and again it was like when we were in the helicopter yesterday. I reached out and lifted her chin up again and once more she had tears brimming in her hazel eyes. "Look" I said but she grabbed my arms and cut me off, "I don't want to look!" she blurted out in a shaky voice. "I don't want to go out there! I'm scared! I don't want the fear or the pain!" she continued her voice still shaking, and she was crying, I was taken aback by her ferocity. "I want to stay hidden away! Safe! Out there I have to fight and keep fighting! I'm tired Jason! I don't want to fight anymore! It's pointless!'

At this point I pulled my arms from her grip and in turn grabbed one of her arms and  then her face, "Stop" I said firmly looking straight into her eyes and she stopped her tirade, abruptly looking back into my eyes, her tear streaked face shocked. "Just stop! listen to yourself! You're panicking! Calm down Hannah, it's gonna be alright". Hannah looked as if she was going to retort so I continued. "Look, I cannot remember how many times I've thought what you've just said to myself. I cannot count how many times, whilst fighting for my life, I have considered pulling out my sidearm and ending the fear, the pain... I lost the only family member I ever had to a grotesque freak who ripped his face off, and I watched it happen..." My own voice shook now and I too felt hot tears at the corners of my eyes. "I..I could've saved him! but because I was scared, because I was afraid...my dad lies buried in the ground next to countless others outside my home settlement" I paused for a moment gathering myself as my voice broke.

Fresh tears were falling down Hannah's face as I continued. "For a while killing mutants was the only thing keeping me going, the thought of killing every last one of those mutated freaks who roam about out there was the only thing that sustained me even after meeting a very good friend of mine." I paused again, reminiscing my rather confusing introduction to Myles, I carried on. "But then I watched my friend break as we both found out that his family was missing and his hometown burnt to the ground....from there I began to realise that fighting for yourself isn't enough to keep you going out here...". I looked into Hannah's eyes again and continued making sure she understood what I was saying. "To survive for long out here you need to fight for others, the people who you live with, fight with, and possibly die with, for people who you love". At this point Hannah was no longer crying and she listened carefully as I spoke. "I need you you fight Hannah" I said firmly "I need you to fight for someone else, for the men and women you serve with, for your fellow survivor... If not for them then at least fight for me".

She looked taken aback as I said this and I smiled at her, wiping away the tears on her face with my hand. "Come on" I encouraged her "Lets eat and then head out", and Hannah nodded slightly still staring at me. We shared out the beans after that and we ate in silence Hannah staring into the tin when it was her turn to eat, while I packed away our things in our backpacks. From behind me Hannah abruptly spoke, "can I ask you something?" I turned to her and smiled, "of course!" Hannah fidgeted a little before blurting out "if we make it back can we get a drink together?". She blushed furiously as I stared at her completely thrown by the question and suddenly realising how attractive Hannah was. "N-never mind!" stuttered Hannah as I didn't reply "Don't wor-", "No-no!" I cut across her feeling my face burn a little "s-sure! Lets get a drink later". Hannah's face lit up at my response and I smiled awkwardly not knowing what to do, but Hannah got up quickly and resolved that issue by hugging my tightly.

I stood there awkwardly as she hugged me tightly and I rubbed her back slightly still unsure as to what was happening. Hannah finally pulled back but still held onto me as she looked up at me and said very earnestly "You promise?". I looked back at her and smiled awkwardly again before saying "Y-yeah, of course, I promise!" and she smiled before letting me go. "Alright" she said pointing at me, "you promised!", I raised my hands in mock surrender and repeated "I promise!". "Good!" said Hannah and she giggled, I smiled as well. "Come on then!" I started "Get your stuff on, we're going!"

She stood up and zipped up the top of her pilot jumpsuit before slinging her small pack onto her back and sliding her pilots helmet onto her head. She then Put on her pistol holster before pulling out her pistol and loading a round into the chamber. I already had my bag on my back and stood next to her with my rifle in hand. "Ready?" I asked and she nodded smiling slightly but looking apprehensive at the same time. I patted her on the back "lets go get that drink then!"

we both smiled to each other and left the room.

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