" People hurt people all the time Aaron, and sometimes when your life is filled to the brim with hurt, you can't help but wait for things to start fall apart again. "
~ life has taught me that you can't control someone's loyalty. no matter how good you are to them, doesn't mean that they will treat you the same. no matter how much they mean to you, doesn't mean that they'll value you the same. sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least ~
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I don't think I ever cried so hard. My whole life seemed to surround some traumatic moment but this betrayal took the cake. I wanted to believe that maybe I could finally be happy, but lord knows that'd be to easy. I was at least blessed with being a pretty cryer to at least I didn't have red puffy eyes when I finally worked up the nerve to knock on Emily's door.
It takes a second but eventually it opens. Emily stands there, her eyes searching for something before she lets out a small sigh, "I'm guessing you know." It wasn't really a question.
I just nod silently, my head pounding from the outrageous amount of tears I had shed. Motioning me in, Emily shakes her head, "And this is where i through my life away for killing our section chief," she mumbles.
I just walk through her hallway and into her living room, plopping my exhausted body onto her plush couch. Emily sits beside me, a small sorry smile gracing her lips, "He didn't want to do it." She simply states.
"He still did it." I argue, my voice a bit raw with emotion. He still did it.
"It was his job."
"I was his job." I restate, making eye contact with her. She sighs but doesn't deny it.
"None of us wanted to do it, Strauss wanted the intel-"
"She could have just fucking asked like a responsible agent."
"She's Strauss."
"That's not an excuse."
It grows quiet, Emily fully aware I was right.
"God what about Jack?" I ask, tears gathering in my eyes, "He-" my voice breaks off before I clear my throat, "He called me mom the other day." I nod, "I didn't know what to say so I just changed the subject. I was going to talk to Aaron about it tonight but, well..." trailing off, I keep my eyes glued to the coffee table in front of me.
Emily stayed silent, not uttering a word. "Em I need you to tell me what to do,"
She just shakes her head, "It's not my place."
I groan in frustration, "I said I wouldn't do this," I complain, holding my head in my hands, "That I wouldn't get attached, but shocker! here I am." I hastily wipe a tear from my cheek, "The second things start to fall apart, I need him. I don't know how to do any of it without him." I shake my head in disbelief, "But he caused this."
Wiping my cheeks I shake my head, "God I probably sound psycho."
Emily chuckles lightly, "Honey I deal with psycho on the daily, you my dear are far from it."
