When We Fell: A Draco Malfoy Romance

Chapter 7- Darkest Hearts

Another exciting weekend is here; Ravenclaw and Gryffindor are battling again in Quidditch. All the students are elated, conversation booming in the hallways after class got out today. I wish I could smile and laugh along with them, but, unfortunately, today is the day that I've been putting off for too long. 

Today is the day that I'm going to tell Draco who I really am. I'm going to lay my sins bare and tell him what I've done. 

I never dreamed of coming to Hogwarts and admitting to this. I swore to myself that those words would never slip out of my mouth, but Draco has slithered his way into my heart. I know there is a chance that he will leave, disgusted with me, but there is also a chance of him leaving if I continue to hide. I want him to hear it all from me. 

When I stepped off the train, my only thought was getting through this year as quickly and painlessly as possible. But, the year is almost halfway done, and I already know that I want Draco to leave me with at the end of it. 

I don't believe that I'll ever find someone who is a truer match for me than Draco. That's why the thought of losing him today is making me want to vomit. If I looked in a mirror, I'm sure I would be green from my gnawing stomachache. 

I got to Defense class late today after pacing in front of the door, trying to delay my fate. Thankfully, since I was late, Draco had no time to ask me about my obvious nervousness. 

But my luck has officially run out; our professor is dismissing us and wishing everyone a good Quiddich weekend. 

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Draco grabs my arm lightly, staring at me with bunched eyebrows. 

"Nothing's wrong, I promise. I just ate something that didn't settle well at lunch." I give him the best smile I can manage and keep on walking. 

"If you say so..." Draco says, still looking worried. 

"Do you think we could go to our tree and hang out for a bit?" I ask him. I thought about where I wanted to do this all night and couldn't think of a better place. 

"Yeah, that would be nice. Now?" Draco asks. 

I grab his arm and steer him towards the door that leads out to the lake, "Yeah, now."

I honestly don't think he bought the sick act. He keeps on looking at me like he is trying to figure out what he did wrong. Either way, the quicker we get there, the quicker I can get this off my chest. 

As we approach our tree, we take our usual seats and settle in. It's quite chilly outside nowadays with Christmas fast approaching. I look up to find the initials that we carved one afternoon, "DM & OB." I trace it with my finger as I try to figure out how to start. 

Pain and rejection aren't new to me, but I know that pain and rejection from Draco would be especially heartbreaking. There is nothing else left for me but Draco. 

"Olliana," he grabs my hand and holds it, "talk to me. What is going on?" 

I take a deep breath and let it out before turning my head to face him. I remember when I met him, just a few months ago, his eyes looked dead, mournful. Unending guilt and loneliness filling up a boy who had no choice. 

He was so broken, but no one ever noticed. 

Until I did.

Now, when I look at him, his eyes are happy. He isn't hunched over, hiding in his Slytherin robes; he stands tall and confident, stronger than ever. A night and day transformation over the course of a few months. 

All because he found someone to love him, to accept him. Now, I'm hoping he can accept me and all the darkest parts of my heart.

"I need to tell you who I am, Draco. What I've done." I look down at our hands, fighting tears. I don't want to see the rejection in his eyes. "I've been afraid to tell you because of what I did...I did something really bad." 

I feel his hand grip my chin, lifting it until we are face to face, "Tell me," he whispers. 

"I set them free," a single, soft sob breaks free. I can't stop the tears now; the guilt is too thick. 

"Set who free, Ollie."

"I can't!" I sob harder now, shaking my head, trying to back out. It feels physically impossible to admit out loud what happened that night. 

"Yes, you can. Who did you set free, Ollie? Tell me," Draco urges, still holding my chin and refusing to drop my gaze. 

I close my eyes. I can't look at him, "I set them all free. I destroyed Azkaban. I freed them all, and then they destroyed everything."

Silence. Not a word comes out of Draco. All I can hear is the soft repeating waves hitting the lake's shore. 

I finally gather enough courage to open my eyes, but Draco's eyes are now closed. My heart drops to my stomach; I knew this was a bad idea. "Draco...please. Say something, I'm sorry," I beg. 

Slowly, he opens his eyes, two gray storms looking back at me. "Bellatrix was set free from Azkaban in that attack. It was you," his voice just a soft whisper. 

"Yes."

"Bellatrix was there when I almost killed Dumbledore. She was there at the Malfoy mansion. I did a lot of things because of Bellatrix," I can hear him gritting his teeth.

"Please, Draco, you have to understand that I wasn't given a choice. My parents sold me off to be a loyal servant to Voldemort. They forced my hand, I was never given another path!" I pleaded. I grabbed both of his hands, squeezing them as hard as I could so he couldn't leave. "I never wanted any part of this life."

For a long time, he just looks at me. I'm not sure what he's trying to find in my eyes, but I know what he sees: love and determination. He sets my soul on fire and, if I have to, I will gladly walk into the flames to keep him. 

"I let them into Hogwarts. I let them kill Dumbledore and kill teachers and students. I let Harry die," Draco finally says. He lets out the breath that he was holding and leans his forehead on my shoulder. "I'm so tired...but we both have darkness in us, Ollie; I've always known that."

"I just had to tell you, to show you the rest of me. I'm so sorry that what I did made things worse for you; I never intented for that to happen," I wrap my arms around him. 

"Even if you hadn't done it, somehow he would have freed them. Everything that happened to me was the path I was put on; there was nothing you and I could do to stop it," his arms slowly wrap around me, hugging me to him, "It changes nothing. All it does is show me again how perfect you truly are for me. You were always meant to come here and find me," he says, wiping the tears off my face and giving me a sad smile.

"I want a fresh start. I never want to go back to that place, Draco."

"Never. I'll never let you feel like that again." 

As the rest of the students celebrated the weekend with toasts and games, Draco and I curled up under our tree, once again healing each other's darkest hearts.