Cheers to Self Love ✓

21 | letters and a phone call

possible trigger warning. please read at your own risk.

its been two days since i last sent you a letter and today, my mailbox is filled.

i get out of my room in curiosity to read them.

there are so many letters for me and i feel overwhelmed.

they were all filled with good wishes and hope for better days and i received yours too.

i tore the cover of the letter like a child excited to open his birthday present.

❝dear love,

i am happy that you finally let out those brewing storms inside your head. i know how it feels like when you're drowning in madness, darkness, and so much more. you know, i felt the same, but you're still one of the strongest people i have ever met. and no, i am not sad or angry that you decided to take a break and when confronted, you broke down, its okay to not be okay. and its also okay to be strong and cry in the farthest corner of the room.

its easier to help than to be the helper. i know this. cause i need help too. and trust me, your words have done more than help to me. i can never be grateful enough.

thank you.❞

i was in tears. i honestly had no words to say. your words really touched my heart and i am comforted by your words.

i get up from the floor as the sound of the telephone fills the room, i shuffle through the room and fetch the phone.

i hear someone sobbing through the line. who is it, i thought.

"hello." i nervously mutter.

the next words were the end of me, was i dreaming? was it true?

"what?! no, it can't be! how?"

"i must be having a nightmare, tell me i heard it wrong." i scream as the person on the other end repeats what they said.

"gosh." i said, slamming the phone down.

i lean back against the wall and i am so much in shock, i can't even cry.

out of all the people in the world i could lose, i had to lose someone whom i called close.

i read your letter again. a soft smile found its way on my chapped lips.

i wish they had this letter in their hand. that'd have been so much better. things could've been different.

but they aren't. and regret fills my heart with the gloom.

~ stranger

a/n: i lost a close friend of mine just recently. i hadn't talked to them in a long while and we didn't have very good relations either. they ended their life and when i got the news, it was totally shocking for me. i was having bad days since recovering from relapse is not easy and when you're invalidated for how you are feeling and have been, it hurts bad.

rants aside, i want to say that please talk to your friends and family irl more than online friends and try to stay connected to reality more than virtual world. you don't know whom you might be losing.