its been so long...
so long since i last wrote you a letter.
you sent me good wishes and health, but the truth is, i did not even open it. you'd say what a bad friend i am. you cared for me and i couldn't even return it. i am sorry.
my mental health has been really worse since i last sent you a letter. i'm not even going to lie, i almost had the wish to end my life, but i did not. i knew there's a lot good coming on my way, and i tried so hard to convince myself that this shall end soon. thought that you'd be lucky if you found me alive the end of the week.
i am not okay. i never was. you'd argue how i wrote those letters, they were filled with so much positivity. some were not the best but still it made you smile or even rethink of your way of life and trust me when i say this, i tried. i tried reading my own words and they made me feel fine, but only for some time. how would i admit that i almost believed that my whole life was a lie - that my trauma, depression, stress, everything was all in the end. i was afraid to ruin you, my love. i was afraid. that if i tainted your soul with these words, you'd break.
its so much easier to be a helper than ask for help. cause to help, you never need a reason, but to be helped, i have tp explain why i have not been productive, why i haven't replied to your lovely letters. how do i admit that i haven't been myself in the longest while.
am i losing too many people or i am losing too much of myself?
i know no matter what i say, it'll never take away the fact that i hurt you, i ignored you and even didn't care for you but trust me when i say this, i will try to make it better.
i promise
stranger xx
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Cheers to Self Love ✓
Poetry❝letters and tales for a healing heart❞ ➸ you'll find here: ➤ self-love ➤ motivation ➤ healing ➤ acceptance ➳ not all things that are broken is bad. a broken mess is beautiful too ➳ i'd never leave you alone. for you own...
