II. Woe

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Hayden P.O.V.

Heartache was a new kind of pain I hadn't experienced before. When Evelyn died, I felt like I died with her. There was nothing inside me that wanted to continue existing. What's the point? Why do I deserve to live? Why do I deserve to be a God? A King? She deserved everything that I had and more and it seemed that perhaps I was never going to be able to offer it to her. I'd known Rory to break his own rules, but certainly nothing to do outside of Olympus. Messing with the chemistry of Earth, Olympus and Underworld could have harsh consequences, but all of that seemed to have been put on the back burner, once he saw the pain, I was in. As brothers we always carried a small piece of each other's pain. When Evelyn died the pain inside me turned into something else. I was numb. No other pain was greater, but I seemed to have moved past the gut-wrenching feeling and into nothing. There was no pain, no sound, my world drained of colour. There was nothing. It felt as if I died with her. My brothers later told me that the pain they felt was excruciating, but they were willing to carry it for the sake of not losing me. Even after just a few hours their pain was insufferable, and Rory had made the decision to bring Evelyn back. I will forever be grateful, whether she's with me or not.

It was hard to accept that perhaps Evelyn was never going to return to me. She had every reason to stay away from me. The thought that I'd never see her again was daunting. I had never loved someone so much in my entire existence and I knew I would never find anyone else to even compare to that feeling. The warm butterflies and the feeling of pure happiness had turned into an excruciating pain. Being away from her hurt almost as much as it did when I killed her. Guilt had been eating me up. What kind of God am I? What kind of lover am I? I deserve to lose her forever. She's better off living without me. I hoped she disagreed. I hoped there was something inside her that was willing to forgive me and come back to me. I hoped the memories she had recovered of me were intertwined with the memories of my love for her. I came to a realisation that I had never expressed those feelings to her. I never told her I loved her and what if I don't get that chance? What if she recovers the feelings she had for Phoenix? He had done nothing wrong. He never hurt her or put her in danger. He deserves her. She deserves to be with somebody better.

Two months had passed. I buried myself in work, to avoid the hope crushing feeling inside my chest. She's never coming back. I had piles of paperwork for the laws I had broken, trying to protect Evelyn. Being with her was against the law to begin with. I guess there were some advantages to being a King. A couple pieces of paper and you're off the hook.

I couldn't think of a severe enough punishment for Star. I had moved her from one ground to the next, changing her punishment. There was nothing severe enough that would bring her as much pain as she brought Evelyn and me.

I descended into Tarus having thought of a new punishment for Star. I hadn't warned Tarus of my arrival and as I approached the ground, I held Star on I could see a nymph talking to her. I couldn't recognise him. He held no familiarity to any of the nymphs that worked for me. He was tall and wore a dark hoodie to hide his face. I snapped my fingers and he appeared in front of me. Shock froze his body momentarily as he stared at me with his empty eyes. Marcus was one of the new hires, hired by my brothers. I'd seen a picture of him but hadn't seen him on my ground before.

"What do you think you're doing?" I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer, holding him a couple inches off the floor.

"King Hades. I – I'm sorry." He stuttered, terrified. King Hades. I began to hate the sound of my name.

"What did you say to her?" I asked pulling him higher off the ground, ready to crush him into the hard concrete. I had no way of knowing whether I could trust him to keep him alive.

"N-nothing sir." He continued to quiver in my arms as I tried to decide what to do next. He looked terrified. I exhaled shaking my head and put the boy down on the floor. He looked relieved. I had a million things to do and didn't have time to deal with him. I snapped my fingers, transferring him to the dungeons so I could deal with him later. His body quickly evaporated from my view and I could see Star in the distance, forcing her whole-body weight against a gigantic boulder coming down the hill. Seeing Marcus talking to Star only made me more furious. How dare she? Where does she think she is?

She turned to me, sweat dripping down her entire body, clothes soaking wet. Her smile was mocking me. I felt even more furious. I knew she had said something. Enough to cause me some sort of inconvenience. I hoped it had nothing to do with Evelyn. There was only one punishment that was even a fraction of the pain I felt when I lost Evelyn. Holding the weight of the world on her shoulders.

After moving Star to a new ground and imprisoning her to hold the sky for the eternity, I returned to my office. The days were bleak without Evelyn. Every task and meeting seemed never ending. The air was thin, and the building seemed to be drained of life. She had somehow managed to change my whole outlook on living and I didn't realise it until she was gone.

"Lily, please cancel my next meeting." I bent the handle to my office door. I still had the loose end to deal with in the dungeons, another of my brothers' meetings could wait. I opened the door, smelling an overwhelmingly human smell. There had been several times where I seemed to have hallucinated Evelyn's smell, in an attempt to clear my mind. It had felt like Evelyn were becoming just a figment of my imagination. I leaned against the door, slamming it shut and felt my emotions burst from within me. I inhaled deeply with my eyes closed, allowing the sweet, imaginary smell sink into my mind.

"Hi." A soft voice echoed through my office and my eyes flew open in an instant. Evelyn. I felt my heart crumbling. Her slender, figure was leaning against my glass table. Her soft pink cheeks flushing deeper and deeper as her smile widened. I felt frozen in the waterfall of emotions that had taken over my being. I'd hardly given my mind a second to comprehend that the love of my world was in front of me before she was in my arms. I will never let you go.

"I love you." She inhaled sharply as her eyes glistened. I wanted to say it over and over again, while I still had the chance. I felt like life was going to snatch her out of my grip any second and I wasn't going to have enough time to tell her how I felt. "I'm so sorry about everything." I continued. "I love you. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say it, but I love you. I don't ever want to lose you again." I felt my emotions rush to the surface and my eyes began to water. A hot, glassy tear rolled down her cheek as I kissed her with all the fire burning inside me. 

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