The Duel
By PJ Perry
‘I challenge you to a duel!’ he spat
Then he slapped my face with his glove
I must admit I expected that
After canoodling with his love
“Well, he was a stuck up twat!”
‘At the crack of dawn I’ll get my satisfaction!’
He scoffed ‘we’ll meet up in the orchard’
A firm nod from me was my only reaction
His nostrils flared as if being tortured
“Well, I had to get some her action!”
A sleepless night I then did employ
As his young love came to me
If it were to be the last night I’d ever enjoy
She wanted that memory
“Well, I’m such a horny boy!”
As I arrived I pondered at all the faces
Then the cock crowd as he made his entrance
He said as we began to walk our twenty paces
‘Upon your grave I’ll jiggle a dance!’
“Well, perfect time to do up my laces!”
His pistol fired, the bullet whizzing by
I tied I knot and spruced a smile
He shit his pants as I aimed with one eye
As his bullet had missed by a mile
“Well, I was tired and no wonder why!”
His knees did buckle as I took my shot
And then he did also piss
I think this duel just lost the plot
He cried ‘surely a girl can’t be worth all this!’
“Well, he’d obviously never found her beauty spot!”
I looked at her and how she glowered
And with him I had to disagree
For this young maiden whom I deflowered
I fancied was now the referee
“Well, I wasn’t a bloody coward!”
But then again enough was enough
And this tradition must one day surely end
“You’re a nobber!” I cried of the cuff
“I’m chicken and bucking this trend!”
“Well, I didn’t want to risk losing that bit of hot stuff!”
And so he laughed loud and thought it rather funny
So hand in hand we fled and ran
She with me and me with my honey
She said, ‘I’m going to divorce that horrible man
“Well, she was entitled to half of his money!”
YOU ARE READING
Poetry Shmoetry! ~ Various Poetry ~ by PJ Perry
PoetryMy Mind, My Work, My Love, My Lust, My Dish, My Dirt, My Chalk, My Cheese, My Passion, My Pain, My Ass, Your Face!
