The Joker's Daughter

Chapter 31 ~ I hate high school

I sighed and followed Jason and Clay out the door. Clay looked at me shyly before walking off, still covering his bloody nose. God he'd really crossed the line.

"I should kick his ass myself," I said as I started to march towards Clay. Jason stopped me, chuckling.

"So what made you so worked up in there?"

"That incompetent moron very well could have ruined your life with those untruthful accusations,"

"You know it's just because he hates my guts. And he wants to get in your pants."

"Ugh," I rolled my eyes and faced him. "I apologize for him saying those things. I told him again and again you did not touch me."

"It's not your fault, I'm glad I broke that jerk's nose."

"I wish I'd done it myself." I scoffed. "We should get to class." Jason started to put his arm around me but I ducked away from it. "Don't touch me." And then I had realized what I'd said. "I'm sorry, Jason. I'm just a bit frustrated."

"You're frustrated? Some loser just called me a rapist and made me break his nose."

"Sure... made you." I rolled my eyes. "Do you have a cigarette?"

"Yeah, just don't skip out on too many classes." He handed me his pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"The bad boy is worried about my attendance?" I mocked and started walking away towards the back of the school where I had smoked with Jason all those times before. I was slightly glad he did not follow me, I wanted to be at peace and I wanted to be alone. It felt like forever since I'd smoked my last cigarette alone. It did not matter that I was ditching classes, I already knew more than most of the dumb imbeciles that were my classmates anyways.

I pushed the large metal door open and I was in the alley that was the back of the school. It was a disgusting, wet place with some spray painted words that were anything but kind towards the school and the principle, but it was peaceful.

I lit the cigarette that was already hanging out of my mouth and inhaled deeply. In a few breaths of smoke, I became slightly calmer.

But what was I going to do? Where on earth was I going to go? I had betrayed the man and woman who had raised me. Part of me wished I had not even met Jason Todd, everything would be normal. I was content not knowing the truth, my life was together and my purpose was clear. But another part of me was glad I knew the truth, I was no longer being made a fool of. I was out of an abusive household... but that part I did not care for, the Joker had been treating me and disciplining me my entire life. I was used to it, and if I had survived that long under his wing I must have meant something. I didn't care what was more socially acceptable, I needed to choose between Jason and the Joker. And I had not decided yet. Of course I hated Mister J for lying to me, I would not ever deny that I absolutely hated him, but I was more together with him than I was with Jason. And I needed to be stable more than I needed to be happy.

I let out another puff of smoke and sighed. If I did want to join the Joker again, was it too late? I mean I did cut his face open. And if I did join the Joker again, would being unhappy keep me from feeling stable? Or would I be able to push all emotions aside as I had done most of my life?

If I stayed with Jason... what would I become? Would I ever feel content again? Would I ever be accepted in his crowd, even including all of the dreadful actions that I had committed in my damaged past? I could not help but think I would never be accepted by that crowd. Even Jason did not know of every atrocity I had done in my past. I had hurt people, and I did not give it another thought. Maybe, even if it would not be a perfect lifestyle, going back to the Joker was the only option that would keep me together.

Jason, whether I liked to admit it or not, had changed me. He made me... feel. The old me would have been absolutely disgusted in myself. Maybe not feeling anything was better than feeling lost, yet almost happy with Jason. I couldn't decide which one was better, or which one was worse.

"I hate high school." I sighed and inhaled another deep breath of smoke. Maybe if I was lucky I would die of lung cancer before I went to second period. All too soon the cigarette I had been smoking was right down to the butt, and I didn't want to take too many of Jason's cigarettes. Oh god here I was being thoughtful towards Jason again, what was this?!

I put the pack of cigarettes in my pocket and started back inside, I believed my class was physics right now. Physics with Clay.

"Miss Isley, you're late." The teacher who's name I'd forgotten said, annoyed, as I entered the room.

"Yeah... that's my bad." I said as I took the only seat available--next to Clay who had a bloody tissue hanging out of his nose. I didn't look at Clay as I sat down and attempted to pay attention to the lecturing teacher.

"Hey, about today, I was only trying to help you." Clay whispered after a few uncomfortable minutes of him rocking back and forth on the chair.

"And you made a huge mess of things." I said back to him.

"That wasn't what I meant to happen, the words 'rapist' just sort of came out."

"What is your problem with Jason, anyways?"

"He's kind of a dick now."

"Leave him alone, please." The please I added sounded more like a 'screw you' than an actual please.

"Okay. I won't say anything about it. Are you okay, though? Can we still be friends?"

We were never friends. "I'm fine."

"I can see you got the cut treated," he said, referring to the bandage that had been wrapped around my leg.

"Yes, I did."

"Please forgive me?"

Absolutely not. I thought about it for a moment, perhaps Clay would come in handy some day. I shrugged and looked at him. "Okay." He knew I would not allow him to attempt to ruin Jason's life anymore, so there was no risk of that. Clay sighed in what seemed like relief, the rest of the period he spent trying to win over my affection by acting quirky and amusing. I was still rather annoyed with him, but I couldn't help but laugh when he fell out of his seat. That seemed to give him the impression that I liked him now.

Finally after the period was over I was free to go to my next class, where I had neither Jason or Clay to talk to. I was okay with sitting quietly in the back of the room, however, it once again felt nice not to have to converse with anyone. The girl who sat across from me and I exchanged a few mindless chatters, but other than that there wasn't a forced conversation between me and anyone else.

"So what happened the other day?" The girl with brunette hair--Megan--said to me. She was the girl who had sat across from me.

"Whatever do you mean?" She never made it clear what part of yesterday she was talking about. A lot happened.

"I heard you came to school covered in blood and that you were... attacked by Jason Todd."

"That is not true in the least bit. Where did you hear that?"

"It's been going around..."

"If you hear those rumors I would appreciate you stopping them. They are completely untrue."

"Then what's with the gauze on your leg?"

"Jason Todd didn't hurt me, if that's what you're insinuating," I stopped talking to the girl after that. I ignored her questions and hoped she got the hint that I did not like her. She was just yet another human on the list of people that annoyed the ever living hell out of me. What was it with high school students and rumors? Were all high schools this obnoxious?

"Who attacked you?"

"Shut up, Megan." I sighed as the bell rang and I left the room to go to my next class. Oddly enough, Jason was not there. Nor did I see him at lunch, I even stayed in the courtyard rather than going out back to smoke another one of his cigarettes.