Carrie's POV
Mike's never held me tighter. He never asked what happened, or why I all the sudden got so upset. He just held me. For the rest of the night. We didn't go the other place Mike had wanted to, he just held me...all night. That's how I woke up the next morning.
Thinking about the baby that's inside of me...that I'll be carrying for the next 9 months. It scares me. That I'll be responsible for a person. A baby. That little infant is going to rely on me to survive, to live.
With Mike's hockey schedule I don't know how much he'll be around. I hate saying that. I hate it so much. I don't want to stop Mike from doing what he loves, that's what he's always loved to do. And I refuse to take that from him.
I was soon pulled out of my thoughts when Mike put his arm around me. He smiled at me. That's all he had to do. I smiled back and rested my head on his shoulder.
"I'm worried about you." Mike confessed causing me to sit up. "Will you talk to me?" He asked. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to. I sighed and stood up. Simply just walking out.
I didn't want to talk to Mike about last night. I knew he'd be hurt. Hurt because I knew I'd end up doing on my own. Not because of him. Because of me. I want him to be happy. He's happy when he's playing hockey. I'm not going to pull him away from that.
As I walked towards the back door I felt two hands come around my waist instantly stopping me.
"Its about the baby isn't it?" Mike asked resting his chin on my shoulder. "Talk to me baby...please." Mike begged kissing my cheek. "I miss the sound of your voice already." He confessed.
I just stood there silently. Waiting for him to let me go. And when he did I continued to walk out side and onto the back porch. I picked up my journal and pen as I sat on the porch swing the wind blowing through my hair.
I wrote down things that came to mind. About anything really. Mike. God. My family, friends...my baby. Any good song could come together out of one simple idea.
"Can I tell you something?" Mike asked stepping out onto the porch. I nodded my head with a faint smile and made room for him on the swing. "I'm scared." Mike confessed sitting beside me. "Being a dad...it scares me." He said as he put his arm around me. "Loosing you...it scares me." Mike added catching me off guard. My jaw dropped. Why would he say that?
"What are you talking about?" I asked him quietly.
"You haven't talked to me all day...you just pushed me away last night, and never told me what happened." Mike said taking his arm from around me. "Carrie your drifting away with me...and when the baby comes its going to get worse." Mike added causing me to sigh. "Your going to be on tour, doing concerts, and shows..." He continued, looking at me serious.
"No I'm not Mike." I said giving him a look.
"Well Carrie I don't know, you won't talk to me." Mike said standing up. "How do you expect me to know? Tell me Carrie talk to me, please." He begged as I ran my fingers through my hair.
"What is there to talk about?" I sighed.
"I guess our unborn child means nothing to you." Mike said before going back inside. Ouch. That hurt. Gosh what is wrong with me? Why do I always do stupid things like that?
I sat there by myself, trying to think of what to say. I could feel myself drifting away from Mike. I just didn't know how to stop it.
"Mike." I said as I walked into our room. He slowly lifted his head, to look at me and I sat on the bed in front of him. "I'm sorry about last night." I apologized looking into his eyes. "I don't know what happened, all the sudden I just got uncomfortable." I confessed looking down at my hands. "And I started thinking about the baby...I don't want to pull you out of hockey..." I continued, as tears fell from my eyes.
"I'm going to help you Carrie." Mike said taking ahold of hands.
"Hockey is what you love doing, I don't want to stop you from doing that...I want you to be happy." I said with a sigh, still refusing to make eye contact with Mike.
"I'm happy with you, and believe it or not I'm going to be happier with our little one." Mike said gently putting his hand on my belly.
"Stop..." I sighed taking his hand off of me.
"Carrie I don't know what to do." Mike confessed putting his head in his hands. "Are you upset with me?" He asked looking back up at me.
"No...I just...I don't know." I sighed as tears came to my eyes. "I'm not upset with you at all I just don't want to do this on my own." I confessed as tears fell from my eyes. The truth came out.
Mike didn't say anything, but his facial expression changed. He lowered his head and pulled me into his arms. "Your not going to." He whispered in my ear as he rubbed my back. "I promise..." Mike added kissing my cheek. "Look at me." He said lifting my chin up with his index finger so that my eyes met his. "Carrie Marie I promise you, I'm not going to leave on trips I'm not going to go anywhere...you and that little bitty baby are my top priority." Mike confessed looking into my eyes still.
I broke the gaze when I wrapped my arms around his neck kissing him passionately. Mike hesitated for a moment, but then kissed me back when I pulled him on top of me.
"Carrie you d-"
"I'm not going to push you away Mike." I said cutting him off, looking straight into his blue eyes. A faint smile streached across his face, I blushed as I pulled his lips to meet mine.
