Faith's mini Adventures

Can't Live without You

The day was like any other. Stone and I were hanging out at a coffee shop and enjoying the chill afternoon. We’re usually hanging out in my room or his, but today we decided to go out. I was talking about my day, but as I was venting, I could see Stone’s expressions changing slowly. I wonder what he’s thinking about? “

“Hey, are you okay?” That got him out of his daze. 

“Yeah, why?” He’s voice was much softer than normal.

“You just seem to start getting sadder and sadder as I went on, were you getting bored?” I asked. I actually had a bunch of questions: ‘Was I getting boring?’ ‘Am I being annoying?’ “Am I talking too much?’ 

“No, not at all. I was just thinking about things.”

“What kind of things?” I asked. I always wondered what he’s thinking about. 

“Nothing interesting.” This has started to become a recurring thing. I talk, he starts to think about other things, I asked what he's thinking about, and we have this exact same conversation. I bet he’s getting bored with me. He’s going to want to break up with me. After all the years we’ve been together, it’s finally going to happen. I can feel my eyes start welling up in tears but I didn’t start crying, yet. “Can we go home?”

“Oh, yeah. My house or yours?”

“I kind of want to be alone right now.” I didn’t want him to see me at my lowest. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.” That was a lie, but I didn’t want him to worry. 

As we drove back to my house, we stayed quiet. It wasn’t a comfortable silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable either. It was a mixture. 5 minutes later, we arrived. “Are you sure you’re okay? I can always stay with you if you want?”

“No, it’s fine. I see you tomorrow.” I got out of the car and walked into my house. The minute I stepped in my house, I ran straight to my room. Slammed my door and just sat on my bed. I can hear the intrusive thoughts start rolling in. 

“He hates you” No he doesn’t.

“You’re boring to him” No I’m not.

“He’s only with you because he pity’s you” No, he loves me. I started shaking and went searching for my steel relief. I was so focused on that, I didn’t hear the front door open. “Sassey, can I have my shirt? It’s laundry day and you’ve had it for 6 months and probably really needs to get washed.” He opened my door to see me frantically searching my room. 

“What are you looking for?” I didn’t answer him. I kept looking. I eventually found it and took out the blade. Because I was aware of his presence, I was hesitant to bring it to my wrist. 

“Sassey?!?!?!” He rushed to me and took the blade out of my hand. “I thought we were working on this. What brought this up?” I didn’t answer him. I just looked at him. My eyes bloodshot red with my tear stained face. “I did this, didn’t I?” 

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have but I didn’t know what else to do. I would’ve gone to you but-”

“But I was the issue. Sassey, I’m so sorry. If this is because I was starting to get spaced out from this afternoon, then I'm going to be honest with you: I was not getting bored with you. I could never get bored with you. You are my everything.” 

‘Then why didn’t answer my question? What were you thinking about?” I was bawling my eyes out. 

“I was thinking about our relationship. How I feel like I have been drifting apart from you, how if we still have our connection like we did when we were younger, everything I was thinking was about us and you. Not a day goes by where you don’t run in my mind. You are my source of energy, my reason to get up in the morning, my sunshine is my darkest days. You are my everything.” At this point I’ve stopped crying. He brought me closer to him. He kissed me on my forehead and we just held each other. “Listen, I’m not the greatest when it comes to love, but I know that I love you and that I will do anything to keep you in my life.” He kissed me on my lips and held it there for what felt like minutes. 

“I love you too, Stone.”

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Written by JustDivinity16