Chapter 15

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Alex

"Are you hungry?" I asked Harry once we were settled inside my private plane.

She shook her head without looking at me.

I knew she would be angry at me, I expected it, but this? I thought it would be easy once I found her. I would apologize and convince her to go back with me. She wanted love before she left and now I'm willing to marry her, promising forever and she's acting like the thought of it was worse than spending the rest of her life in Purgatory. No matter what she said before about loving someone forever, it was obvious she now hated me. I miss the warmth that used to shine from her eyes when she looked at me. How could I have been so blind? She has always looked at me with love in her eyes. The smile that had been just for me. Intimate. Special. I had taken it all for granted.

I had spent four months tormenting myself with questions of what ifs. If only I'd went to her apartment that same night, I might have gotten to her in time. If only I had stayed the night after we made love, and woke up with her in my arms. If only....So many ifs, but that's all they are now. And now looking at Harry, I wonder if she'll ever let herself close to me again.

"If I marry you and you divorce me, you could keep my baby," she said, expressing her deepest fear.

He swore and stood. "You believe I would do this to you?"

She gave me a bitter laugh, "you did threaten me," she said in a whisper.

"But this is different. marriage is forever. I wouldn't do that to you or our children. I want our children to grow up with both parents."

"I don't know. I don't trust my instincts where you are concerned anymore....and why did you say children? I'm definitely not having twins," she said.

"Surely you don't want just one child?" I asked her.

"No of course not, but I think you didn't hear me Alex. I am marrying for my baby, I said that I will never be a wife to you."

"Oh and I think you didn't hear me as well. If I remember correctly, I told you that you will be my wife in all its meaning!" I said to her.

She glared at me, "Never, I will never sleep with you willingly. I could never have sex with someone I despise," she bit out.

I winced at her words," We'll see."

"Stop fighting me Harry. Don't make this difficult. Whatever you need to make you happy, I will give it to you."

She looked at me, "You could never give me what I need Alex," she said dejectedly and before I could say anything, she turned her back on me, and covered herself with a blanket.

Harry

"Whatever you need to make you happy, I will give it to you."

You couldn't give me what I needed before, what makes you think you could give it to me now? I thought to myself.

But I'm not that stupid girl in love with you anymore. You could never hurt me again. I said to myself. But then why am I am sitting here trying to fight back my tears?

Damn you Alex!

"Harry, I care about you. I will never be unfaithful to you. I will be a good husband and a good father. Don't ask for the impossible. Don't ask for the moon. I do not do love." I heard him say.

I gave him a bitter laugh, "you think this is about love?" I asked incredulously. "I may have been in love with you before, but not anymore. Whatever feelings I had for you died that day in your office." I took a deep breath and continued. "What I need for you is to let me go and stop forcing me to marry you! But you're telling me that you don't do love, then how the hell will you be a good father without loving our child?"

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