sixteen. [c.a.m]

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The plane ride over to the UK was awful, it was probably the longest flight I had eve endured in my whole lifetime. It was the day after we had landed here and we were in Newcastle, we decided to go out for a drink as we were all legal to drink in this country. I was applying the last bit of my make up, happy with how I was looking. I slipped on my heels and exited the door of my room in the hotel and made me way downstairs to where the rest of the boys were.

"Lets go PARTTYYYYY" Ashton shouted as he saw me round the corner, we piled into a taxi outside of the hotel which took us to the club strip in Newcastle. I was excited to be out with the lads having drink with them properly, and legally.

After a few drinks, I was on my own, I couldn't find any of the lads and I really wanted to be with Michael right now, so I went to find him. I wasn't drunk really, but I knew that the boys were. I was walking around this club for at least ten minutes to find Michael and had no luck.

Until I saw a glow of red hair running into the toilets. I walked over and straight into where he had just gone into. And I saw something I wished to god I would never ever ever ever see. Michael was there, just having sex with a girl. My breathing stopped and I just stood there, he didn't even notice I was there, but I couldn't scream at him. I couldn't do anything. He was the boy I loved. Having sex with a girl he had just met.

I had to leave, I had to go. I left the club, tears just streaming down my cheeks. How could I ever believe that Michael and I were going to work out? He had done too many things to hurt me in the past that this was inevitable. I got into a taxi, sobbing uncontrollably, it took me back to the hotel. And I realised that I was sharing a room with Michael. I couldnt see him, I dont think I could even be with him anymore, I mean he blatantly cheated on me. That was something you couldnt just deal with and ignore straight away.

I loved him but I couldnt get through this straight away with him. I knew I had to break up with him or at least have a break. I grabbed stuff from mine and his hotel room and I took out some paper and a pen and wrote a note.

"Im going to a different hotel, I can't stay here. Not now. Don't try to call me, I will only answer to Ashton, goodbye, Casey"

I picked up my bag full of belongings, I was glad that I didn't unpack. I took a taxi to the next hotel along, and just sat in my new room alone. I couldn't believe that this had happened, why would he do this? Drunk or not, he shouldn't have done this to me. How was I going to stay on tour with him here? I couldn't do this, I couldn't stay. I needed to leave. I had to leave the UK, I needed to go home. I needed my normal life back, I couldnt do this, I couldnt be here. I was to ring my job provider in the morning and organise someone to take over.

Just yesterday Michael and I were the media's favourite couple, we were so in love. But right now, all I could think about was Michaels hands all over her body.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

I cried for losing my dream job. I cried for the fact that my life was too different and I wanted normality. I cried because I was going to lose the boys, my best friends. I cried because I missed the sqwad.

And I cried because I realised that Michael obviously didn't love me.

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