The Potato Nation

15: Lies

wait, wait, wait,

what is this?

IS THIS REALLY AN UPDATE? AFTER ONLY SEVEN DAYS?

yes, yes, it is :D i feel so proud of myself rn. 

pls leave your feedback and don't forget to vote :) Ily guys. (i might sound a little drunk/sleep-deprived it's like 1:26 Am what is life)

dedicated to @NotKnowingKillsMe for her amazing comment in the previous chapter and her even more amazing votes. thank you for the support, babe <3

15: Lies

Farrah regrets suggesting the five minute break. It may have helped reduce the tension in the air but it’s got her having fantasies of running away and never coming back just so she doesn’t have to tell her story that doesn’t even exist.

The stories of Callum and Abraham and Sara are heart breaking. She doesn’t know about Emma but she knows that the girl must have been through a lot too.

But what is she supposed to say?

That her mother expects too much from her? That would be true. But so what? That her mother doesn’t care? That would be untrue.

Is she supposed to tell them that she’s afraid of making friends because she believes that it’ll ultimately lead to betrayal? They’ll laugh at her. They’ll tell her that she is pathetic, standing there like a broken person, like someone who’s faced a lot when in reality, she has faced nothing at all.

It is unnerving, to say the least. She doesn’t know what she’ll do. She doesn’t want to show her face to the group – she wants to quit yet somehow, she knows that she is too far in to quit now.

The group will cause an outrage if she does because she knows all of their stories – except Emma’s – and leaving the organization means leaving their rules.

Also, they’ll know how much of a coward she is.

What made her agree in the first place? She should have gone away when the organization indicated that it’d “help” people. She didn’t belong then, she doesn’t belong now. By no means, does she need help.

Her heart is beating faster now and she is afraid she’ll pee her pants with the fear. The world spins around her – she is that anxious – and for a moment, just for a mere second, she turns away and runs.

She stops herself before she is too far gone. Where will she go? What will she tell her mother? She can’t avoid everyone forever. And even if she does run away from the world, there is no chance of her living a long life. She’ll probably die on the second day, what with all the luxury she’s used to.

The five minute break is over – her mobile alarm starts its incessant ringing and she quickly dismisses it. Her legs are shaking as she stumbles back to the place, unaware of her surroundings.

Everything seems to fade away and she can see only the group, talking to each other.

You don’t belong here, the small voice in her mind tells her, run away. Go. It’s for the better.

She doesn’t. She can’t. She doesn’t have a choice.

She makes her way to the others like a blind woman, tripping often over thin air, earning quite a few weird looks aimed her way.

She swallows – trust her to make an idiot out of herself in front of a huge crowd.

Tears prickle at her eyes but she blinks and composes herself. Now is not the time to lose it.