The Potato Nation

23: Illusions

OK, PLEASE, PLEASE READ THIS NOTE IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE, I SWEAR:

for those of you, who actually read the messages i broadcasted, i am very sorry. i know i said i'd update once a week but i am v busy and it's getting difficult. idk why but i feel pressured to update if i keep a deadline and i don't want to do that. so i am sorry i won't update once in a week but whenever i want to. it may take weeks or only a few days, depending on my inspiration, which actually forms the chapters. i need you all to support me thru this, i'll be v v grateful if you won't leave me - quite a few have stuck around and i am happy, thank you v much.

aside from that, i am sorry for the lousy part of sara's. i've grown to love all my characters very much but i am still trying to figure sara out bec well, she's a completely different character; it's hard to write her. but i do hope you like her and her parts meet your standards.

i would have dedicated it to one of my fans but i have difficulty remembering usernames. pls comment on this chapter so i can note who is left for the dedication.

this is dedicated to @leperksofbeingaloser bec there's some hidden abrax in there and some sinking but some sailing.

23: Illusions

Rohan either doesn't notice Farrah's red, blotchy face or he doesn't care because he doesn't offer a word of comfort to her. Maybe it's selfish of her to think this way: she got him in to trouble and she's being the weak one here. She is in the wrong - she always is, to be honest - so why blame him?

But she can almost feel her heart in her throat and even though she tries to swallow the feeling down, nothing works. She is still feeling the same way: fearful and sad, something that she doesn't want to feel ever again.

It is the same as the time when she was lost. She remembers sitting on the footpath and wondering if anyone cared to pick her up. She remembers fearing her mother's razor sharp voice telling her what an idiot she was. She remembers worrying too much and killing herself with her thoughts and then, in the end, finding out that she was over reacting.

It wasn't the best feeling; when she found out that she had been over reacting. It sounds like she really wants to be sad but the thing is - she just wants events that match up to her head. It's as if her head and her body are living in two different places and she knows that the place in which her body lives is a better one but she can't convince her head to move there.

It is terrible and twisted and dark and she hates it.

She also hates that she's waiting for Rohan to offer a word of condolence. She keeps glancing at him again and again but he doesn't even look her way and whenever he turns his head around - Farrah immediately looks at him, hoping he at least peeks at her - it's to see outside the door, if their parents have come yet.

Her heart is clenching, drowning in numerous thoughts that pass her head. She is at the point that she doesn't even know what she's thinking; just that she still wants to cry and that her parents will kill her.

She has never, ever gotten herself in to a position like this. She isn't a cheater, by any means - she has always been perfectly honest and her parents know that and they trust her but this time, their trust will definitely be broken and along with that, her weak, useless heart.

Her parent's trust, their interest; it is what she strives for. It means everything to have their respect and she knows she is going to lose that and she doesn't want to and what why how did this happen why does this have to happen she just wants to sleep.