The Potato Nation

20: Terrible

Hello, people. This chapter is short - only 4.5K words long but then, length doesn't mean everything. I didn't want to stretch it and disrupt the flow. Also, it is unedited. I haven't proofread it so forgive my mistakes. I know there is no mention of the word "terrible" in Emma or Abraham's part. I am kind of a goldfish - I forget things, so yeah, plothole sorry. Oh and Emma doesn't have a little sister anymore, lol, so the first time I mentioned her - plothole. Sorry.

Good thing is: I reached 80K words on this novel. And this is just two third of the novel. So, cheers. Longest novel I've ever written. Plus, this is a pretty important chapter because it makes way for the calm before the storm. And then, the storm. So, yeah, I know I don't make sense.

IMPORTANT: I HAVE POSTED "THOSE UGLY HEARTS" (OPEN THE EXTERNAL LINK) WHICH IS ALL ABOUT CALLUM AND HIS CHILDHOOD. HIS PRE-POTATO NATION LIFE. SO IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, GO READ IT. AND IF YOU ARE NOT, STILL READ IT. THANK YOU.

This chapter is close to my heart, so I'd appreciate it if you dropped a vote, yeah?

Won't hold you back any longer, cheers! Happy reading! Tell me what you think.

Dedicated to @endlessroads for her endless support, just like her roads. Thank you, love.

20: Terrible

She is safer under her sheets, trapped in the silence, the darkness of the night. She is safer because under these sheets, all the people in the world do not exist. Life would have been a whole lot easier if people didn't exist at all, if she didn't exist but then, it wouldn't have been a life then.

She sighs; the last few weeks have passed in a flurry of events. She has been happy, without a single care in the world. But just like sadness, happiness doesn't last forever and right now, underneath her sheets, she is back to her thinking habits, back to her overreaction and she hates it but she can't, she can't stop.

So you can say that she isn't really safe under her sheets, either. Safer, perhaps, but not entirely safe. Her thoughts are bullets aimed at her and they are all around her. She cannot escape.

She is thinking back to the time that she lied about having a sister. She is afraid that one day, they are going to catch her. And maybe they are; and what is going to happen, then? They won't trust her - that shouldn't matter, should it? She isn't their friend. They aren't hers. But dammit, she cares. Just like she cares what every single person in the world thinks about her.

You can say she thinks everyone is "special" and so is their opinion but the harsh truth is: no one's opinion is special; it is just their fricking opinion. The only opinion that should matter to you is, yours. Isn't that what everyone says? Think about yourself, be yourself. Well, what if someone is tired of being "yourself"?

And Farrah is; she is tired of being the person who lied and the person who overreacts and damn it, the person who goes about, pitying herself when there is nothing to be pitying herself over. That is terrible, inhumane and utterly and completely selfish and it makes her a bitch but she doesn't want to be one, she just wants to be a faithful servant of God and be happy, without all these thoughts roaming around their mind, taking over, uninvited like her mind is their home.

But that just isn't written in her fate, is it? Her final result will be herself, broken and more terrible than ever. Well, not really: her final result will be death and she will be trapped in one of those graves that make her sick because she is so afraid of how many sins she's committed. She is afraid of dying; she is not ready. How many times has she neglected God? More, more, more than a few times. And no matter how much she thinks about it at night, when the Sun comes up, she is back to her old practices.