Undead Conscience (LTU Rewrite)

#10 (Y/N): Depression

As I was gasping and looked up I saw Ryder dropping his stuff he brought along and he rushed to me, holding my hands.

"Y/N, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I wanted to tell him but at the same time I didn't want to...I don't want to hurt him...

"What happened? Please tell me...I don't want to see you cry..."

If he says that it makes me feel even more guilty...It drives me nuts that I can't do anything to prevent this...and I really don't want to leave...but what can I do? Is there a way?

"R-Ryder..."

"What is it, Y/N? What's on your mind?"

"I...I-"

"Breathe...You're becoming hysterical. Take a few deep breaths and then tell me...I want to help you...

"I can't..."

"Y/N...please...Calm down. I won't be mad, I promise...no matter what you are about to say...If it's about me then just say it."

"N-No, Ryder...I-It's not t-that..."

"Then what is on your mind? What is troubling you so much?"

I exhaled deeply...

"I...I have to go, Ryder!"

"Go? Go where?"

I stood up with my fists clenched to prevent my depression from showing...

"Away...I can't stay here any longer. I need to leave..."

"Y/N? Where is this coming from? I thought you were happy with me being here with you?"

"I know, Ryder....but..."

I couldn't surpress it any longer and then began to cry again...I made everything worse...Now he must hate me for this...but...

"I saw on the TV that someone will come get me. I...have to go because...when they see you with me...they will shoot you, Ryder! I..."

He hugged me from behind to which I gasped and looked back at him in surprise as I saw him look at me with a gaze that didn't seem mad or angry in any way...

Instead he was looking down at me with a plain look but also one without any negative emotion...

It's as if he was determined to help in that exact moment...There were no words needed to describe his intentions...

"Y/N, I owe you an apology..."

"For what?"

I was wondering about what he meant and then my diary suddenly came into view...

"My diary! How did you...?"

"I wasn't completely honest with you, Y/N. I have to admit...that I...was in your home before we both became friends. I broke in to your home and took your diary. I was desperate..."

"So it was you..."

"Yes...I'm sorry...I read everything from in there and that's why I knew about your past...I just want you to know. If you really have to leave me then please don't forget me. I can't blame you if you might be mad at me because of what I did earlier but I wanted you to know if you really need to leave me."

He took my diary? And here I thought it was someone else...I felt relieved...for the first time in my life...Ryder took it and I don't blame him...

"Did it help?"

He gasped, when I said that.

"You're not mad at me?"

"No. Why should I? I could actually say that you watched over it for me...and I don't mind you reading it. I trust you now, Ryder..."