Dark To Light

Dark To Light (7)

"ANDY!! STOP!!" I giggled loudly as Andy tickled my sides.  Andy's helping me get a job and an apartment. Im excited!! Andy crawled on top of me and kissed my cheek. He ran his finger over my scar.  i pulled my face away from him. I didn't like it when he did that it reminded me of how I got it.

~Flash Back~

The wind hit my face as I ran. I was finally out of the hell hole. I kept running. I heard my mother yelling for me. I didnt turn back I kept going. I was out!. I felt my  heart stop when I turned around and my mother was right there.

"You should know better then to run from me!" she yelled. She yanked me by my arm back to the house. I fought her, but it was no use at all.  My mother pulled me into the house and throw me in to the wall. I hit my face on the picture frame. The grass broke and went everywhere. I piece cut my face. My mother just laughed and pointed at me. I felt so useless and alone. No one care for me then . I could have died.

~ Flashback Over~

"Elisa?" Andy said shaking me. I looked at him. "Your crying?" he said whipping away the tears away. I turned over and curled into a ball. Andy wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to him.  I closed my eyes  to think. I need to think I wanted my father. He was always there for me. I needed him.  I felt something hit my back. I jumped up off the bed and looked at Andy. "What was that"  I asked looking at him confuses. I didnt know anything about a guy or about myself really.   I was confuses. i have never been with a man.  Andy's face turned red.  "Im sorry.." was all he said. I felt my heart pound in my chest I didnt know why really.. .I dont know what came over me either. I've never felt like this before or acted this way. I walked back to the bed and pulled Andy's face to mine kissing him roughly on the lips. I heard a groan escape his lips. I didnt really know what I was doing so I let him lead. I guess he was "experienced" Andy wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me on to the bed.  He rolled over so he was on top . My heart pounded loudly in my chest. I closed my eyes as Andy's hand slipped under my shirt. It felt different then when Chris did it to me. Andy's hands on me felt right . A sounded excaped my lips i've never heard before. I cryed out when Andy put his hands down my sweats.   I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Elisa..I cant" he said pulling away from sittiing up.

I was breathless and confuses. "Why?". Andy looked at me. "I shouldn't have done that." I sat up and slung my legs over the side of my bed. I looked at the floor, my hair getting in my eyes. "Elisa, It's not you okay?" I looked up at him. My vision blurry  because of the tears filling them. I felt like it was me. Like i wasnt good enough for him. I covered my face with my hands. I couldnt look at him, not know.

'Elisa.." he said placig his hands around me, I felt myself being lifted and put on his lap.  I turned to him. "Am I not good enough for you?" I stuttered. Andy placed his hand on my face. "Your perfect. I just dont want you to think its all about you know?"  I cocked my head to the side. I didnt understand. "I'm not following you Andy?" He looked at me with wide eyed. "Sex, intimacy." he whispered

 The only thing I knew about sex was that it hurt and wasnt worth it. My mother tol me one day that sex wasnt worht having so dont have it. She also said once a guy gets what he wants he leaves you just like that. "Dont leave me.." i cryed "I shouldn't have kissed you, Im sorry"

"Elisa, Im not leaving you. Where did you get that idea."  I  shouldnt have kissed him. I shouldnt have.. "My mother told me that after a guy gets what he wants he leaves.." i sobed. Andy pulled me to him. 'Im not going anywhere okay?"

I looked at him and smiled.  "I need to take a shower" I said jumping up off his lap and heading to the bathroom. I turned the knob and slipped inside.  I slipped off my clothes and turned on the shower. The water hit my  body. It felt amazing.   I closed my eyes and look in the fresh scent of the shampoo and soap i used on my body. When I was done, I gabbed the towel and slipped it over my body. I opened the door. "Andy?"

"Yeah?" I felt my face grow warm "Can you bring me in that night thingy?" I yelled to him. He didnt replie so I thought he didnt hear me. I walked out  and saw Andy standing there holding my nightgown. He got the biggest smirk on his face when he saw me.  I blushed and snatched the grown out of his hand. I ran back into the bathroom. I sliped it on and pulled a brush through my  hair. Andy had been nice enough to buy me somethings i need.  I stepped out of the bathroom.

"WOW!" was all Andy said when i walked out. I thought it was cute. i walked over to him and smiled. I flopped down on the bed and slipped under the blankets. Andy wrapped his arms around me. I started to drift off to sleep.

~Dream~

'You will never be love by him!" My mother screamed in my face. I shook my head. My mother grabbed my head and smacked it into the floor. I screamed in pain. The blood fell from my noise.  "He doesn't love you Elisa...How could he?"  i began to cry. I fought back the urge to hit my mother.  "He's using you" she whispered in my ear.  I closed my eyes and opened them again. I saw Andy and me, We were doing something I've never seen before. He was naked, I was too. I turned away for a second. The turned back and saw Andy getting off of me and getting dress. My heart dropped. He just got dressed and left me there. I watched my self cry for what seemed like hour. I couldnt even think about what would happen if he just left me.

~Dream Over~

I woke up in a sweat and I was shaking. Andy was holding me, I looked at him, he looked so worried. I moved away from him. The dream seemed so real. So very real to me. "What was it about?"

'My mother and You.." I turned to him. "You left me crying.." I began to cry. "Oh Elisa I wont do that you" he said kissing me all over. "We were doing something, Im not sure what it was when it was over you left me..." Andy stiffend next me. He closed him eyes. I heard him breathing. I looked at him closely . "What?"

" Do ou know what we were doing?" I was totally clueless. I had no idea what we were doing. "No..." Andy smiled at me "We were making love...." My eyes widened. I didnt know what that was. But i didnt say anything. 'I would never leave you okay?"  I  felt my hear race as Andy kissed my neck. I felt my body give in to my body. My heart raced .  I wanted to do what we were doing in my dream.  Andys hand groped my chest. This is what I always wanted.... It wasnt love... It was Andy.