The Monster In My Head

Chapter 25

Important Author's Note at end, please read

Two months later

Madison couldn't believe the improvements she had made. It was easier to sleep at night, easier to go throughout the day without questioning her every move. Yet, it wasn't without a lot of counseling and growing. She still struggled with some of her demons. Often in the middle of the night, she would dream of Brian's bloody face screaming at her. She would wake up, weeping, and breaking into sweats. When this happened though, she had learned to go to the kitchen, drink some cold water, go back to bed, pray and try again.

A lot of her insecurities still lingered too though. So, she tried to cling to May less and rebuked thoughts of not being good enough or fears of being abandoned by the person. However, her relationship with Max, Neveah and even her parents remained... Strained. Her and Max were probably doing the best out of the three, though that didn't say much. Every once in a while, they did share a hello and even maybe a short conversation. She still found it hard though to let him back into her world.

On the other hand, was her relationship with Neveah. It was now to the point that they wouldn't even say hello to each other. They were practically strangers now. When it came to her parents, on the surface everything was okay. Unfortunately though, their duties as parents didn't hide the hurt they still felt.

Madison hadn't treated them fairly when she went through depression. She had been very short with them, avoiding them and getting irritated when they tried to help. And though her mom was able to put it behind her, her dad, the man she used to be so close to, had taken it more personally. Often he would make remarks about her coldness to him and seemed to avoid being near her often. It broke her heart, yet she didn't know where to start when going about mending things.

Madison hesitantly sat in his office now, watching him work at his computer. Without looking up at her, he spoke:

"Yes? Can I help you?" 

Madison shrugged. "I just wanted to say hi, see what you were up to." 

He grunted. "Well, hi," he replied shortly. 

Madison sighed, approaching his desk. He still refused to look up from the laptop.

"Dad, I know I hurt your feelings. I hurt a lot of people, but I hate the most that I hurt you. I miss talking to you so much. I'm really sorry." 

He was silent for a long time, staring at his laptop. Finally, after a long, agonizing period of silence, he closed the laptop and looked up at her. "Go get dressed. We're going to the arcade." 

Madison grinned the widest that she had since her time in the hospital.

***

It felt like Madison was dreaming as she played arcade games with her dad. She could genuinely say that she didn't mind that she had lost every game. Her dad was not the type to let her win. She either learned how to beat him or she got good at losing gracefully.

They were making their way to the zombie slayer game when her dad spoke:

"About your apology earlier... I accept. And I'm sorry I was being a bit... petty about it," he paused, looking at her, his face showing his rare, vulnerable side. "I just hated to see you hurting and part of me was just scared of making you hurt even more." 

 Madison gave him a sad smile. "Dad—"

He grinned, pulling her to his side, kissing the top of her head. "I love you, kiddo. But enough sappy stuff. Let's kill things." Madison laughed. He took the first turn, picking up the arcade gun. He started playing, killing the zombies effortlessly. Madison cheered him on. Speaking as he played, he asked: "So this Max guy? He for real?"