The Monster In My Head

Chapter 17 (Edited)

Madison and May agreed to wait until the weekend to break up with Brian. However, that meant the rest of the week went by slowly and awkwardly. Every time she was with Brian, she had to force herself not to think about what she had to tell him. She took May's advice and instead enjoyed these moments while she still had them, in case it got awkward once they split.

Saturday finally came and Madison got dressed to meet Brian with her stomach in knots. Her hands were shaking, and she hadn't even gotten to the park yet.

When she arrived, she found Brian sitting at a picnic table, waiting for her. He smiled at her arrival, standing to hug her. Madison's heart ached as she hugged him back. After a long moment, she finally moved away.

"You needed to talk to me?" he asked. 

Madison nodded, sitting down. He sat next to her and waited.

"You've been... such an amazing boyfriend. And you helped me change into a better person. You've slowly and patiently brought me out of my shell and I—" Madison paused, her nose burning and her eyes beginning to water. She was too terrified to look at him. "And I... don't deserve you..." she finished, her voice cracking a little as a single tear fell. Brian laid a hand on her shoulder and she hesitantly looked at him.

"Madison, why are you being like this? What's going on?" 

The tears came rushing out at his soft tone and he started to pull her close, but reluctantly, she pushed him away.

"I have feelings for Max."

***

Brian felt his heart drop and he moved away. She took a deep breath and spoke again:

"I have had feelings for Max but didn't realize until now. And it's not fair to lead you on like this..." 

Brian furrowed his brows, a lump forming in his throat. "What are you saying?"

"I'm... breaking up with you."

Brian looked away as her words hit him like a fist to the gut. After five months, and everything they'd been through together... It was over? He felt like he should be devastated, but he wasn't. It was more of a null feeling deep down. 

He cleared his throat and looked at her yet again. "I had my... suspicions. Thank you for being honest with me, I guess." 

Madison looked at him, but Brian didn't return her gaze. "Are we-going to be alright?" she asked quietly. 

Brian clenched his teeth, looking down at the grass. He didn't want to be mad at her, but how could you not under these circumstances? He sighed, closing his eyes. "Yeah, Maddie. We'll be fine. I'll get over this."

A long, aching moment of silence passed between them before finally, Madison stood, looking down at him. Brian looked up at her to see she was still in tears. He was faintly amazed at the fact that even at a time like this, he hated to see her cry.

"I screwed up, Brian. I know I did. I just hope you can forgive me at some point," she paused, looking away, rubbing her arm with other hand. "But I get it if you don't."

Brian shook his head, getting her gaze back on him. "Stop, Maddie. I still want to be friends with you. It'll just be rough for a while." 

She smiled slightly, but he could tell it was forced. "Thank you."

With that, she turned and walked away, and as she did, Brian thought to himself:

Max better take good care of you.