And I would be the one (to hold you down) | Yandere Lily Evans

A battlecry (Part I)

Everything is normal. At least, normal for Natsumi. Lily continues to monopolize her time outside and inside of classes, outside of school. It's harmless. She tells herself as she looks at all of the girls in her year whom she does not (cannot) talk to. I can stop her whenever I feel it's gone too far. After all, she can still speak to Severus, right? To their teachers, and to Mao, through letters. To Petunia, the times she's home for the holidays and Natsumi is there too, to ask questions about Muggle schooling. Right up until Lily drags her away for her own devices and mischief.

Everything is okay. Everything is okay. Everything is okay.

When Lily clutches her hand so tight she thinks she might break the bones, everything is okay. When Lily grooms her hair and talks about spending the rest of their lives together, everything is okay. When Lily skips her prefect meetings to spend more time with Natsumi in the dormitory, everything is okay. She hasn't crossed a line. Not really. Not yet.

...What would even count as crossing a line? Yelling at Natsumi? Hurting her? Dousing her with some kind of potion to keep her under her thumb? She hasn't thought about it. Doesn't want to think about it. She doesn't ever want to consider that her beloved friend could do something so monstrous. It's not right for her to think about Lily doing those things, right? It's traitorous. Rude. Unbecoming.

Even if a part of those hypothetical scenarios appeal to her. Just in the slightest. Is it so bad to be wanted? Above all overs? Preferred and picked first? Not a runner up but a first choice? Well, no, not on its own. But to this extreme, perhaps so. Perhaps...

"You just need someone to depend on, Nat...To watch after you and take care of you." She approaches slowly, as if she were fearful of scaring Natsumi. As if she would run away from her at a moment's notice, "Depend on me, Nat...I've always been there, you know. Since the start. You and I. Redheaded witches!"

Lily's words...They were sincere. Wholesome. Yet tainted. Yes, if Natsumi tolerated Lily's growing obsession (even encouraged it?) then wouldn't that be as bad as taking advantage of her friend's kindness and generosity? She had claimed that Natsumi wasn't (and wouldn't) be a burden, but she knows better. Of course she does. Natsumi has been a burden to everyone the moment she was conceived.

She takes these thoughts, these feelings and fears, and swallows them up.

.

The Tuesday before holiday, during their shared Herbology class, Lily is called off for an emergency prefect meeting (something Natsumi didn't even know existed), and she's reluctantly torn from her side with a promise to be back as soon as possible. Natsumi waves her goodbye in amusement at Lily's melodrama over their temporary separation and returns her attention to her task at hand, humming quietly under her breath. Though Lily is her partner in all things, in all classes, Natsumi doesn't need one for this particular task of repotting a baby rowan tree.

Still, when someone quickly slides at her side, she's not going to turn them away. Especially when she knows them. Just started to build their friendship.

"Oh, hello Severus."

It's been about a year since the m-word incident with Severus and Lily, and a little under a year since he and Natsumi have really begun to chat in a friendly manner. Of course, he's still as standoffish as ever, but instead of feeling like she's an annoyance to him, now Natsumi feels like she's a minor inconvenience. She's even started calling him by his given name rather than his family name. Progress!

In reply, he does not greet, however. No, instead, Severus (of all people) asks her if she's alright. The boy hasn't given a kind word or phrase to her in all the years she's known him, and now he's asking for her health? Her status? It makes her pause (freeze, really) and look at him with bemusement, "Sorry?"