And I would be the one (to hold you down) | Yandere Lily Evans

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The person I'm ghostwriting for hasn't contacted me in months, and the last time I spoke to her, she was going through a really rough time.

Unsure about the future of this fic, but I wanted to post this because I know a lot of people like it, and it's (surprisingly?) one of my most popular stories. It's also grown to mean a lot to me, and I hope I'll end up finishing it one day.

If you want to talk to me elsewhere, my writing tumblr at skooffuskalid is active and always open for requests.

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They haven't had sex. Or anything beyond heavy snogging sessions (which are much enjoyed by Natsumi, despite her sexual repression). But she can tell that Lily's more than ready. Eager. Waiting. For that granted permission. That nod of her head. That guiding hand. That moan of approval. Sometimes Natsumi wants to give in and indulge herself, but she gets too scared to. One: because it's natural, of course. It would be her debut into sex, and her inexperience would render her wildly insecure. Would she do a good job? Please Lily? Be pleased herself? Or flake out and be boring in bed?

Two: she doesn't like the moral implications of bedding Lily while she's under the influence of the potion. It keeps her under control and from pushing herself onto Natsumi, but it also has her following her every order without question or hesitation. It reminds her too much of her biological father. The monster who shares half of her genes. It doesn't matter if Lily would happily sleep with Natsumi without the potion. It's not a line that Natsumi is going to cross anytime soon.

Of course, this leaves her absurdly powerful teenage hormones without an outlet. Not outside of masturbation (she still feels mortified at doing it, but has gotten the hang of what she likes and doesn't like to be done to her) and sensual dreams. There's certain sensations she doesn't know, and there's only so much her own hands can replicate, so her brain fills in the blanks of pleasure with feelings of warmth and joy. Replaces the softness of Lily's breast with the softness of her hands.

Natsumi doesn't feel as guilty anymore, not since Lily admitted to her that she had also touched herself to the thought of her. The confession shouldn't have come as a surprise, but she found herself blushing furiously and stuttering at the revelation. Lily had laughed and pinched her cheeks, delighted that Natsumi was flustered, because she had missed her stuttering.

"It's normal, Nat, I promise." Her head tilted, in the before times, when the potion was still in progress, "There's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm happy. If you had thought about anybody else, I'd kill them."

Natsumi never doubted that.

-

In the middle of the night, Natsumi wakes up from a nightmare.

The details of it disappear in the fogginess of consciousness, but the feeling remains. Running. Trapped. No hope. Lily. Rescue Lily. It's not Lily.

There's no Lily in her bed. There's no Lily in her own bed either.

She slips on her slippers and robe, tip toeing quietly out of the room and dorms, down the tower and into the common room. Empty, not even a ghost in sight. Odd. Lily didn't have patrols tonight. She would have told her, surely. She's punctual about that...Unless...

She swallows her nerves. Lily's either in the kitchen or...

Natsumi journeys outside Ravenclaw Tower towards the Room of Requirement. A much more secretive, secure place for her and Lily to...Indulge in their teenage wants. Tell each other how much they love each other (which, lately, has more turned into Lily telling Natsumi how much she loves her while Natsumi takes it all). There's no reason for Lily to be here without Natsumi. Since she's been taking the potion, Lily has only hung out with her. Her and...