The Wolverine & The Black Cat

20 // Turn the World Upside Down

C H A P T E R   20 :   T U R N   T H E   W O R L D   U P S I D E   D O W N

"I thought I saw the devil
This morning
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue
With the warning
To help me see myself clearer
I never meant to start a fire
I never meant to make you bleed
I'll be a better man today  

(...)

My past has tasted bitter
For years now
So I wield an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today"

One week later I decided to go to Coney Island. Life at Xavier's School was way less boring than in a normal school, but I still needed to break the routine once in a while. I wanted to honor my process of healing and moving on by being able to leave for a while without the constant urge to look over my shoulder.

I drove my motorbike all the way to the beach, relishing on the fresh, relaxing sensation the wind left on my face. Driving, especially at high speed, had always given me a sense of freedom I couldn't find anywhere else. As long as I was on the move, no one could catch me.

There were no traps in fast motion.

Coney Island in a cold November day was a shadow of the crowded, noisy place it was during summer, and I liked it better this way. Almost no one was in sight; I inhaled silence to exhale peace and went for a walk on the boardwalk. The sound of waves crashing down against the sand had always been comforting to me, and the cool breeze kept me awake and sharp.

My mind inadvertedly went back to the night Logan had found me in the attic; to how he had been so different from what I thought him to be; and how he had broken so many of the stereotypes people threw around nonsensely about him. When I had woken up the following day Logan was not there anymore, probably leaving before me so as to not raise any suspicions about us. I wondered what other people would say if they found out Logan and I had slept side by side, my head – and demons - resting on his shoulder. I decided not to care.

That night had altered something in our dynamic, but it was an almost imperceptible change. In our group lessons I continued getting on his nerves and he kept on punishing me more than any other student; but when it was just the two of us I caught myself smiling more sincerely, and him frowning less often.

Basically, I was starting to feel different around Logan, and I wasn't sure for how much longer I would be able to hide that difference.

"Why are you smiling like you've seen someone naked?" A voiced stopped me dead in my tracks and I looked beside me to find Lewis watching me with narrowed eyes, lazily sitting on a bench. I was taken aback by three things: that I had been unconsciously smiling thinking about Logan, that I would find Lewis here, and that he would willingly speak to me. We weren't exactly on speaking terms ever since the attack on the school, but then again, Lewis was Lewis: we never really knew what he was going to say or do, so the best was to just not expect anything at all.

"Why would I smile because I've seen someone naked?"

He stared at me for a while, until he decided to smirk and straighten himself.

"You would if you'd seen the right person." He declared, and glimpses of tanned skin and brown hair assaulted my mind. Oh, dear Lord.

"Well, if you really want to know, I wasn't smiling because I saw someone naked. No nudity around here. And I do hope you didn't just come here in hopes you'd find some."