The Essence of Water

OLD VERSION Chapter 20

It's dark when I wake up. My nose is numb and I feel my body shaking. I sit up and try to rub the stiffness from my neck. My fingers don't want to cooperate either. My breath fogs the already frosted glass. "Aiden." I say softly to the darkness. I reach out with my toes, but the seat is empty. Aiden isn't here.

I unroll my jacket and slip on my shoes. The night air fills my lungs and the snow pops under my feet like a bowl of cereal. Once I'm clear of the pine trees the snow glows under the moon and stars pollute the black sky with light. I stare at amazement. I've never seen so many stars.

"What are you doing out here?" Aiden appears before me. The collar of his leather jacket is popped up against the cold, the fur lining brushing his slowly growing beard. His hands are stuffed into his pockets.

"You were gone." I say quietly, feeling as though disturbing the night with my voice will shatter some spell.

"I had to pee."

"Oh."

Aiden looks at the stars. "They're beautiful." He stars at the sky, his eyes trailing the constellations. His gaze reminds me of the one he had in the hotel room.

"Aiden...what happened to you back at the hotel?"

He doesn't look away from the sky. His breath rises into the air. "Nothing..." His voice is as cold as the night.

"Bullshit." He snaps his head down and looks at me. "I want answers. Right here, right now. Why the hell did you save my life? What changed? What made you decide to risk your life for me? Why me?"

His hands come out of his pockets. "Why can't you just trust me like you seem to trust everyone else in this world? Why is it so hard for you?" He demands.

I take a sharp breath. "Because you're not like them, you don't deserve my trust."

"Why not?" He takes a step forward. "You were betrayed before I came around. You trusted a stranger and he pumped you full of drugs. Doug was a totally stranger but you decided trust him anyway. I was a stranger. Sure I'm a Misfit, sure I made a mistake, and I'm sorry for that but I've done nothing but to try andhelp you since and still you don't trust me. Hell, you can barely even look at me. You know what I think? I think you're afraid to let go of your anger. I think you're afraid of what you might find when it's gone."

"You don't know anything." My hands are in fist, I'm shaking, but I don't feel the cold. All I feel building and bubbling inside of me is rage and fear. Fear? Why am I afraid? But I am, I feel it as I feel the chill of the night.

"Right. Fine, you want to know what changed? You want to know why I saved your life when I did nothing to help all the others before you?" He steps forward and grabs my shoulders. His eyes are alive and fierce and full of stars. "You changed." His voice breaks, "You changed Adie when all the rest disappeared and never woke up, you came back." His grip tightens on my shoulders, "You." He whispers, "You woke me up."

His lips are against mine before I realize anything else.

I push him away from me and punch him in the jaw.

The world flips and the snow rises to my hands, turning back into water. I run forward and punch him with the force of the water building against my hands. He flies back onto his back, snow rising like a cloud dust around him. I jump onto him and pull back to punch him again. The world spins and my head hits the snow, Aiden's face is over mine. I try to pull my fists up. To punch him and again and again and again but ice has formed like shackles on my wrists. Aiden's hands keep the ice there; hot and cold against my skin.

"You said you wouldn't fight back." I spit. "You said you would let me kill you!"

"I changed my mind." His breathes swirl out unevenly, my own heart pounds. He chuckles, "I guess I found something that I'm not willing to give up."