The Essence of Water

NEW VERSION Chapter 16

A door slams and my eyes shoot open. The world is tilted sideways and my mouth is dry. I push myself up and look around. We're parked at a gas station. Aiden is at the pump, tapping his fingers on the bed of the truck to a tune I can't hear. A wet patch of on his jacket catches my attention.

Please tell me that's not what I think it is.

I open the passenger door and jump out. "You didn't wake me up?" I ask angrily.

"You needed some sleep," he says.

I slam the door as hard as I can. Aiden frowns and then reaches in his back pocket and pulls out some cash. "I already paid for the gas. Why don't you buy us some snacks for the road? You best use the bathroom too while we're stopped."

I take the money from him and look at the store. I don't feel safe about going inside. "Is that wise?"

He shrugs, "I doubt this old place even has a radio. Besides, we're not in the woods anymore. People will see us either way. We just have to hope we don't look terribly conspicuous. If you walk in like you have nothing hide people won't usually suspect that you do. It's not like we have many choices anyway."

The place is empty except for us and through the glass I see a lone woman sitting behind the counter smoking a cigarette. "It seems I'm taking a lot of risks these days," I tell him.

Aiden tilts his head and I watch the numbers slowly roll higher. It's an old machine and the gas is taking a long time to pump. "What do you mean?"

I stuff my hands into my jacket to keep my hands warm. "I don't know. I guess I thought I was a careful person and you'd think I'd learn but it seems like I can't stay away from people. I know what humans are capable but and yet I hold out and keep hoping for the best in them." I push off the truck and wave my hand, dismissing the thoughts. "Anyway, I'll get some food."

The store smells of cigarettes and despite how the smoke scratches my throat I force a smile at the lady behind the counter. She smiles back and I go use the bathroom in the back. I don't let any part of my body touch the toilet seat. I flush with my foot and wash my hands. The paper towel dispenser is empty. I look around to make sure no can see even though the bathroom is empty. I count my breaths and focus on the water clinging to my fingers and picture it all dripping off, leaving my fingers dry. I hold that image in my mind and keep counting like Aiden taught me.

Eleven.

Twelve.

Thirteen.

Then without me asking or moving a muscle the water drips into the sink and my hands are left dry. I smile and look into the mirror and my own face surprises me. I am amazed how a person can change in such a short time. Gone is the young awkward youth that fell off a cliff. My hair is uneven and darker than I remember it being, still short from being buzzed but growing out in uneven lengths around my chin. My face is pulled tight and my body thinner than I ever remember being, scars cling to every inch of skin that is exposed. The smile slowly disappears from my lips as I stare at the stranger before me.

I reach up and press my fingers to the glass. Even my eyes seem darker that I remember, once a light almost milky brown they look black under the florescent lights, as if the time under the Handlers literally drained the light from my body and soul. "Adie," I whisper. My name doesn't fit my face anymore.

This is what they've done to you.

This is what I've done to myself.

"Adie?" There's a knock on the bathroom door. I pull away from the mirror and open the door. Aiden stands outside, one hand in his jacket pocket, the other hangs at his side.