Snowflake (Peter Pan OUAT x Reader)

Chapter Twenty-One

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You sighed as you landed deep in the heart of the Neverland jungle. You hated lying to Peter, but it was necessary otherwise this would never work. And he had lied to you. Although you knew he would know almost as soon as you separated your shadow from your body, he couldn't know before or while you were doing it. You needed your shadow to go find out stuff for you, things you couldn't look into, or wouldn't have opportunity to look into, without causing suspicion. Simply separating your shadow from your body, especially since you had stolen the Dark One dagger from Peter so that you could, was going to cause far too much suspicion.

"Good job, dearie," you sighed at his words. Of course he would arrive to bother you once more. "I'm quite proud of you. You wanted something and you took it."

"I was just taking back what was mine."

"Ohhh, you were, dearie."

That was when you remembered that technically it was Peter's dagger. He had just lent it to you so you could do what Neverland needed. Maybe he just took it back while you were sleeping since it was his and that was why he never thought about telling you. You wrapped your arms tightly around yourself, breathing heavily, struggling to get a hold of your guilt, to think of something else.

So, you looked at Rumplestiltskin, turning your guilt into anger. Your eyes smoldering, you glared at him. He smiled cheekily back at you, only inflaming the rage. You clasped the Dark One's dagger inside your cloak, pulling it out and throwing it at him in one fluid motion. He caught it, blade nearly touching his chest, his smile never wavering.

"You should be more careful with this, dearie. Whoever holds it holds you. You'll have to do whatever they tell you. You will no longer be the master, but the slave." You shuddered, revulsion creeping along your body as you imagined different people holding it, evil triumph spreading across their faces as you were forced to do their bidding. There was no way you were letting anyone ever hold that power over you.

"Now, I believe we came here to do something important," Rumplestiltskin said.

You nodded as the darkness inside you gave you instructions on how to remove your shadow from your body. You placed the dagger back in its pocket for now. The sun was setting, which was perfect as it meant you didn't have to build a fire to help your shadow appear. You turned, so your shadow appeared clearly defined against the trunk of a large tree. You raised your arms, watching your shadow follow you, making sure there were no other strange shadows near. You then raised your dominant hand, moving it slightly forward while spreading your fingers slightly apart quickly, freezing your shadow.

You pulled the dagger back out, watching your shadow the while, before stooping down. This was the hard part. You started cutting your shadow from around your boot, the blade of your dagger going into the ground as you did. You groaned in pain. It felt as if you were cutting your leg, sharp and painful, although no blood appeared. If it weren't so necessary, you would have stopped because the pain was too great. You merely gritted your teeth and continued cutting.

You finished cutting your shadow off of one foot and took a quick breather, trying to catch your breath. You didn't wait too long before slicing your shadow from the other foot, because you knew that if you did, you would never finish what you started. The other foot was no less painful, in fact, it was more so. You thought you would be used to the pain by now, but you had simply started getting used to the pain of removing your shadow from the other foot.

Once you were done, you held up your dagger as your shadow rose slightly, its form not much different against the trunk except for it was moving on its own. At that moment, you made a decision. No one was going to get your dagger; no one was ever going to control you. You turned the dagger so you were holding it by the blade, holding the handle towards your shadow. "You know what to do," you told it. "Hide it where no one can find it, not even me." Your shadow reached out and grabbed it, its shape taking form, its yellowish white eyes glowing.

"Once you've done that, research curses, every curse you can find that stops time...and...possibly...removes people's memories." Your shadow flew off as you realized what you should have realized before. You didn't remember how you and your sister Snow had arrived on Neverland. Or, wait; was she even your sister? You didn't remember growing up here; you just remember staying on Neverland for a long time, staying at the same age you had always been. But people aren't born nearly adults; they're born babies and have to grow up. You had no memories of your life before Neverland, and you had just realized it.

You soon headed back to the camp, nervous about what Peter would say to you, but not wanting to put it off any longer. You didn't want to have to wait in nervous suspense for what he was going to do.

When you got back to the camp, he was talking to one of the lost boys and didn't acknowledge your arrival, which both relieved and terrified you. You went over to help the other lost boys prepare supper, because you weren't sure what else to do and you didn't want to stand around awkwardly. You also didn't want to go back to your treehouse, because you couldn't bear leaving when you had no idea what he would say or do. In other words, you were a mess of fear and anxiety and you needed to keep yourself busy.

When Pan finished talking, you looked up nervously, but he never even glanced at you. That really frightened you. Normally he would have gone over and seen how you were doing and if you were okay. But now you had no idea what he wanted.

The silent treatment he was giving you was very stressful. You knew that Pan gave harsh punishments to those who disregarded his orders (if he didn't, the lost boys would be an absolute mess). But he gave punishments for simply not doing what he said. What would he do to you for stealing something of his, and then sending it far away so he could never get it back? I mean, it did have your name on it and he never said that it was his and he wasn't letting you keep it and he did take it without your knowledge, plus, he had been lying to you for who knows how long, but still! And besides, you knew Peter. He would never see it that way. He believed that he was always right. It would take an immense amount of effort to convince him that he was wrong and his true love was right. And if said true love stole from him...there was no possible way.

Dinner was ready and everyone got their food. Peter ate with other lost boys far away from you. Even the lost boys could tell that he was avoiding you. They all had curious and puzzled expressions on their faces, but they knew better than to ask. And then they remembered the knife throwing contest and they knew better than to look at you.

But there was no way you were going to go over and ask Pan for your punishment! You weren't that stupid, or that weak. You ate in angry silence. Couldn't he just get it over with?! Maybe after dinner, he would...

Play the pipes. After dinner he played played his damn pipes. You couldn't believe it. He sat on one side of the camp and you sat on the other, the lost boys dancing around the bonfire in between you. You sat in furious silence for a minute, and then the pipes started to affect you. They felt more powerful than they usually did, and you knew that dancing would help you rid some of this anger. Plus, it would show him that you were strong enough without him. So, you danced like you never had before, letting the music pour over you and fill the empty spaces inside you. You danced and danced, closing your eyes occasionally to better hear the music, the music that told you that you weren't alone, that you had a family in everyone else who heard the music like you did, who danced around the fire, having a wonderful time, just like you did.

You danced late until the night, lost boys dropping out one by one, the youngest first, some of them asleep on the ground, too tired to travel the short distance to their beds. But you kept dancing, jumping, and shouting your eagle's cry until you were the only one left. That was when the piper stopped playing his pipes and went into his tent. You stood in the center of the camp, the only other one visibly awake, watching his back disappear behind the flap of his tent.

You were wrong, you weren't strong enough for this, you couldn't take it. He wouldn't really just leave you like this; leave you to attempt to sleep in this state, would he? You stayed there for about a quarter of an hour, just staring at his tent, willing him to come out. Willing him to come out and do anything, yell at you, threaten you, just come out! You knew you couldn't last the night like this. So, you didn't. You headed across the camp to his tent, hesitating a moment before saying, "Peter, can I come in?"