*Chloe's P.O.V.*
It was a last minute decision. They didn’t do hometown shows often anymore. It had been a year since I’d seen him. The show was free. He wasn’t going to see me in the sea of faces. It would be nice to see him in his element again, see him the way nature had always intended. Then my last memory of him would be happy, bright, not the broken version of him that I had last seen.
I went in a few minutes after their set had started. I stuck to the back of the crowd, finding a column to stand against. The crowd thickened the closer you got to the stage, and I readily avoided it, the open space around me being perfectly distanced.
They all worked the stage, their personalities shining, their stage presence almost tangible. Tom excitedly crossed the entire stage, front to back and side to side. For him the show was always a sprint, never a marathon. Nathan adapted his sex appeal on stage, completely different from the awkward, quiet person he normally was. I missed his company, always a good listener, almost as good as Siva, whose innocence amped up on stage, him always being clearly docile and comforting. Max didn’t have to try, ever, he always exuded the aura of how happy he was to be there, and how inside he was screaming, but his body always played it cool, keeping calm and always being pleased with the singing audience, even if this one was a mere 300 people.
And Jay, my Jay, loving every moment. He was always so happy on stage, and it always tore me up that he got so depressed at the end of every show. He could never believe that it was happening. His confidence skyrocketed on stage, but offstage he was an insecure mess.
I cherished watching his face light up, his smile becaming as he’d point his mic to the crowd, hearing them scream his lyrics back. They played the usual set, the same one from last year before the end of us. Lightning, All Time Low, Gold Forever, each song flowing by. I got caught up in their banter between songs, missing the playful friendships I had lost when I lost Jay.
They pulled their audience member for Heart Vacancy, the same way Jay had pulled me from backstage at an L.A. show. It was clear on some of their faces, namely Tom's and Siva's, that they were thinking about their girls, not the ones they were singing to on stage. Jay's face was harder to read, but he pulled out all the stops, getting on one knee for the blonde girl he had pulled onstage.
At the close of the song, the boys hugged each girl, and security escorted them all off stage. Jay stepped forward, looking into the crowd. He took a swig off a water bottle, swallowed, and pulled his mic to his lips.
“Perhaps I’m a bit drunk,” he started.
“Typical,” I smiled, remembering all the pub hopping we did together.
“But I feel like this is something I want people to know about me,” his eyes fell to the girls in the front row, as if he were speaking personally to them. “I was at my mum's house, and she made me clean out my wallet. You know how mums want to make you be clean and responsible and all that. But I realized I needed to, and I found a lot of nonsense in there, really.”
“And no money,” Nathan jabbed from behind him.
“Hey, I had a few pounds. Shut it,” he made a fist at Nathan. “Lies,” Nathan smirked, nodding to the crowd.
“At least I’m not thirteen,” Jay countered in an old, croaky voice, one hand on his hip as he feigned an elderly persona. “Anyways,” his voice returned to normal, and he stood up straight, “mixed in with several pictures of Tia, was another picture of a really important time in my life.”
It seemed like the whole crowd questioned where the story was going. But somewhere inside I knew what picture it was.
“Was it a picture of learning to tell time at 13?” I whispered sarcastically to myself, knowing that wasn’t it. I knew the only picture he carried besides Tias pictures. I knew when and where it had been taken, and the thought of it still being in his wallet stung. I wanted to leave, but I was going to hear his story, I was going to hear one more song. And then I’d leave and never see him again, if I could be so lucky.
