Kiana's P.O.V.
The tension between us felt impenetrable as we sat at opposite ends of the table, not looking at one another.
"So what do we do now?" I asked. My voice was hoarse from the shouting. It had started half an hour ago when Jay came home slightly tipsy. I had mentioned the new shoes I’d need to attend the premiere with him next week and he’d brushed me off.
After prying to see what was wrong he had begun screaming at me at the top of his lungs, not stopping no matter what I said. Eventually I began to shout as well, shocked, but mostly infuriated that he would come back to our flat drunk and acting like such a git.
Normally he was a cuddly, somewhat clingy drunk but tonight his face had been flushed and his eyes danced with anger. I didn’t know what had caused the change, but I didn’t like it.
We’d thrown things, said things we shouldn’t have, and I regretted some of them, but everything was out there now, and this fight felt different from the others.
Jay refused to respond and I frowned.
"Jay," I said loudly to catch his attention. He glanced up at me from furrowed eyebrows.
"What?" he snapped. I flinched at his cool tone.
"What are we going to do now?" I repeated, casting my gaze back to my hands on the table. "Break up? Stay together? Counselling?"
I didn’t know if I could even stay after what I’d just heard.
You’re always looking for something to buy. It’s just about the money with you, isn’t it?
I was still hurt by those words, more so by the fact that he could even think so lowly of me. I’d always told him that even if he was a struggling musician barely able to get by I’d still love him the same.
He must of thought I’d been lying the entire time.
"I don’t know."
"That isn’t good enough."
"Is anything ever good enough?" He retorted and I shut up quickly. Whatever had caused this, it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon so I decided that distance would probably be the best thing for now.
"I’m going to go, then." I pushed myself away from the table, rising to my feet, which caught his attention.
"Where?" he asked.
"I don’t know, somewhere else Jay," I replied exasperatedly. "There’s no point staying where I’m clearly not wanted."
I hesitated for a moment by the doorway, giving him the opportunity for him to refute the fact, but when he didn’t I dejectedly made my way to our bedroom to gather some of my things.
I didn’t know how long this argument would last, so I put as much of my clothes as I could in my small suitcase. As I was struggling to zip it up I felt his presence slip into the bedroom.
"You don’t have to go," he said.
"I think I do," I disagreed. "It’ll give us a few days to cool off from this."
"But you’ve got nowhere to go."
"I’ll find somewhere." I shrugged. "A hotel."
"With what money?"
"What’s with this money thing?" I span around, annoyed. "I don’t get it, at all."
His mouth clamped shut but I continued.
"Do you really think I’m here for your money, Jay?" I asked. "Because if you do, I don’t think I’ll even bother coming back."
"I…I don’t know what to think."
I shook my head, pulling my suitcase toward me.
"Bye, Jay." He blocked the door and I glared up at him. "Move."
"Everyone’s just kept saying…and the articles, and the tweets…it’s just gotten me a bit paranoid."
"I thought you knew me better," I told him, disappointed.
"I do," he insisted. "Or at least I think I do. It just made sense, I mean, why else would you be here if not for my money? I’m not the best boyfriend out there, and I’m almost always gone. Why else would you put up with me?"
I sighed, letting go of my suitcase so that I could rest my palm against his cheek, which he nuzzled against.
"I don’t ‘put up with you’." I smiled sadly. "I love you, Jay. All those things just make you who you are. I’m not perfect either. You put up with my horrible shower singing, so what if you’re gone for a few weeks every once in a while?”
He cracked a small grin which encouraged me.
"Don’t ever doubt my feelings for you," I told him. "I’m in it for you, McGuiness, and nothing else. I love you."
I gave him a gentle kiss to assure him that everything I said was true, which he responded to enthusiastically.
"I won’t." He promised. "I love you, too, Kiana."
