Learn To Love Again {COMPLETED}

Chapter 15

*Two Weeks Later...*
Steven's P.O.V

I've been training for what seems like another Era of Homeworld at this point. Day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute I spend working on controlling these pesky powers of mine. However, the more I start to think about my progress thus far, I don't think I'm actually improving. I still can't prevent myself from getting worked up to the point where I'm strong enough to hurt someone, no matter how many times I train with Yellow Diamond. Blue isn't much better, her lessons on emotions just bore me and seeming pretty pointless. I don't know what to make of White, I really just don't. Put together, it makes me feel like I've accomplished next to nothing in all my time here. Maybe coming here was a mistake.

Taking a deep breath to press down the hot burning frustration boiling inside, I run my hand down my neck and try to clear my head. At this point, I feel like it'd better for me to yell at something and just work this anger out of me like Jasper would. For all Blue's talk of keeping my emotions in check, it feels to me like all I'm just doing is keeping them bottled up inside. Is it that she tells me that because she doesn't want me to express my true feelings? Is she scared about what I could do if I let these emotions flow through me freely? Maybe she is, maybe all the Diamonds are.

With my fist clenched, I stand up from my bed and pace my room that used to be Pink's before me. Why is it that they're so scared of me? They know what these powers of mine are like and what their limits are, they should have nothing to fear!! I thought as Diamonds and my power being the exact same that they'd understand. But they don't. Heck, I don't think they ever did. All they've done is just waste my time and tried to keep me in check so I don't become unstable. That's all I am to them isn't it? Just an unstable little hybrid that can't control himself. IS THAT RIGHT?!?!

I end up ramming the wall with my fist, creating quite the amount of spiderweb fractures in the crystal. There's also a large indentation where my fist landed but I don't care. They can easily replace that with one of their endless amounts of gems here on this planet. Sighing, I pant with this pent up rage of mine and go back over to my bed. If they can't help me, or better yet refuse to help me properly, then it's time I find someone who will. Someone that deals with the anger that I have inflaming my very soul right now. And, believe it or not, I already have someone in mind.

I pack up the small belongings I brought with me in haste, anxious to leave this useless place. It's all said and done rather quickly, my bag thrown over my shoulder in no time at all. I'm out the door a second later and fuming down the hallway, the gems passing by me looking frightened as they notice my pissed off expression. I don't care about that either. I don't care about much of anything or anyone right now except finding someone who can help make me right again. I make it through the Palace slower than I want to but I soon find myself stomping my way across the throne room and towards the stairway leading to the Warp Pad. Just as I'm about to leave, however, a voice that is all too familiar at this point stops me.

"Steven? Where are you going?" White looks at me with a puzzled expression with slight worry mixed in.

I turn her direction with a glare, "leaving because none of you can or want to help me. All you've done is hold me back. Are you afraid? Afraid what might come out of me if I let this anger flow?" My blood is boiling at this point as I can see my skin turning bright pink, but I don't care. "Afraid that I might destroy something? Afraid that I'll be too unstable? AFRAID THAT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO CONTROL ME IF I BURST!" The ground begins to cave in beneath my feet, "AFRAID THAT I'LL JUST BE LIKE MY MOM AND DESTROY EVERYTHING!" A large crater forms where I stand. White just looks at me in pure fear.

"Steven... Let us help you before.." She pauses.

"Before what?" I scowl, "before I hurt someone? I've already hurt people, people I loved and most importantly the gem that means everything to me! All you've done is told me to hold in these feelings that are killing me on the inside... Yellow and Blue too. I'm done... Don't follow me," I turn back around and step onto the Warp Pad.

I hear her footsteps drawing closer to me, "Steven... Please.."

Gritting my teeth, I summon my shield, "I said..." my body whips around in a quick motion, "DON'T FOLLOW ME!" I throw my shield towards her, knocking her off her feet, slamming into a wall.

"White! What happened? We heard a noise and we came as soon as we.." Yellow looks over in my direction and then back to White, then back to me, "Steven..."

"Goodbye..." I think of my destination in a quick moment and in moments light engulfs me and I'm gone.

It's back to Earth with me and soon enough, I touch down on the Warp Pad in the Temple. It's dark inside, and outside as a matter of fact, meaning that the gems have all gone to sleep for the night. I want to just leave right now and not wake anyone up but not before I check in on my girlfriend. Carefully and quietly, I tip toe my way up the stairs and enter my room. Like a literal sleeping beauty, there she is, laying all snuggled up under my sheets. I smile very slightly through all the anger and walk silently over to her bedside.

Looking down at her peaceful, sleeping form, I sigh. Oh Spinel, I just hope you know how much I love you. I'm doing this for me but more importantly for us. You mean too much to me to let this whole issue of mine slide. Leaning down ever so carefully, I lightly kiss her on the head but not enough to wake her. I don't wish to bother her right now and I have places I need to go anyway. So, with that, I head back downstairs and leave through the front door, not caring if it wakes anyone now that I've given my love to the one I care for more than any.

It's now a trudge across the beachy shores and a frustrated walk on the outskirts of the city. As I strafe across the outer limits, I give occasional glances towards the active mini metropolis. None of them could help me any better than the Diamonds have tried. In fact, they'd probably be even worse since they don't know my powers on a relatable level. The grass then starts tickling my toes and I look away from the city to see the densely thick forest approaching. I don't give any seconds thoughts before plunging right on into the heart of darkness waiting beyond.

As I make my way towards the place where my help resides in exile, I still find myself trying to slow my breathing down along with my anger. It's always the same thing and Blue's pounded it into my head so much that even now I can't stop myself from doing it. Ridiculous. I kick the ground and send up leaves, dirt, and twigs. As if they'd know what it's like to be anything like me. A clearing then starts to form and I know that I've come the right way. Only a few steps later are my thoughts confirmed, a cave-like structure sitting right in the middle surrounded by boulders. Walking a bit closer, I see a faint outline of someone sitting inside. She must've heard me coming because her tone isn't at all welcoming.

"I told you not to make visiting me a regular thing" Jasper growls "Clearly you're more thick-headed than I gave you credit for".

"Funny, you're just as stubborn and idiotic as I remember too. Guess we both haven't changed, huh?" I counter back. Jasper stands up very suddenly and glares down at me.

"Unless you're here for our rematch, I have no business dealing with nuisances like you" She grunts, crossing her arms. I shake my head.

"Listen, Jasper. The Diamonds were of no help to me whatsoever. They couldn't aid me in controlling my powers. I think you could, though" I explain shortly.

"And how did your tiny human brain come to that conclusion" Jasper snaps.

"Simple" I say through gritted teeth "My anger makes my powers go haywire and you seem to have no trouble channeling your feelings. Am I wrong?".

"Ha, what you call feelings, I call pure power!" Jasper exclaims, punching the nearest boulder which explodes into many pieces "Nothing more than it and nothing less than it! It's all I have and it's all I'll ever need".

"Good, can you teach me how to tame mine?" I persist.

"No. I've already told you that I'm not one of your little teachers at that stupid place you call Little Homeschool! Get it through your head before I put it through your head myself!" Jasper scoffs, mashing her fists together.

At that moment, it was like something in me just snapped. Not even Jasper, my one last hope of fixing this, will help me. She won't help me, the Diamonds won't help, nobody else can help me!! I begin to tremble, my body literally shaking with rage as I feel the power surging up from within me, my body glowing pink. My eyes align menacingly with Jasper's, who scoffs at me.

"What do you think you're doi-" She's cut off as I send a fist straight at her face, slamming her right into the wall of her little hideout. I then follow up by grabbing her at the neck and flinging her outside, watching as she tumbles along the ground, creating small craters every so often. She grunts and tries to stand but I run over to her and deliver a hard kick to her midsection, sending her tumbling through the air end over end until she crashes through some trees and falls to the ground in a heap.

I dash over to her, ready to lay some hate on her but she's ready for me this time, stopping my fist as it goes in for another hit. I grunt in exertion, pushing back against her. Jasper smirks, thinking that she's got the upper hand on me but the more I strain, the more her smile drops. I think she's just now realizing that I'm not just some human with Diamond powers. I'm a ANGRY human with Diamond powers. She soon sees exactly what I mean those words too, my hand getting out of her grasp and smacking her across the face along with my other hand uppercutting her chin.

Jasper's sent skyward and I hover up beside her to land a hit that sends her back down, her form crashing through the roof of her hideout. While she lays dazed in the wreckage of her little home, I land on the ground, creating a crater, and start throwing boulder after boulder at her. Jasper tries to block them but she's too disoriented to make the slightest difference. Each one hits her and makes a significant amount of damage. I send them so fast at her that in a mere matter of milliseconds, nothing but rock shards remain of her house. She's down pretty well but I'm not done yet.

As Jasper lays on the ground wheezing in pain, I stomp over and land a barrage of punches on her, not letting up even for a second. It gets to the point where she can't even move anymore, her body completely beaten. I have no remorse for rude and unhelpful gems like her though, so with my foot raised over her head, I bring it down hard and poof her. Her gem lays in its own mini crater. Normally, I'd stop here and say that she's had enough but in truth, she's had far from enough. This is what she deserves for everything she's put me through!!

I raise my foot and as hard as I can, ram it down onto her gem, prematurely shattering it. I huff as I lift my foot off, a hundred or so pieces of gem sitting in the dirt. Scoffing at the sight, I decide that I've had enough of this place and begin walking away into the woods. I take one more look over my shoulder before I reenter the forested area and what I say summarizes everything I've gone through today.

"Some help you were".


Yep, after two whole months or so, we're finally back guys and gals! Wolf and I never expected that it would be this long before we updated again for y'all but we both just got caught up in our own works and our own lives. Nevertheless, consider this our official return to the collab. Before I hand things off to my bro, Imma let each of you in on a little something. Now that Jasper's shattered, she's gonna stay shattered. To me, it makes more sense and will actually have a deeper impact on Steven's mentality. Future took a rather stupid way of letting shattered gems be healed which, to me, basically took away the fear of shattering being an actual consequence. Just an inside piece of knowledge for our plans but the rest will all be revealed pretty soon. I'll let Wolf tell you his part of the story and until next time, bye!

Basically as King said it, but I will say this story is coming to a close soon. We'd love to keep it going but we'd rather not make you guys bored out of your minds reading. Anyway as always we hope you enjoyed this intense chapter, and we'll see you all in the next one, laters.  :)