Hey, thanks for reading this far into the story. I actually already have the ending in mind but just for the sake of wanting more to read. I'm going to add more stuff on here. I hope you enjoy this part. Enjoy!
"Love is simply the name for the desire and pursuit of the whole." - Plato
When I finally stepped foot on Grinnell, I didn't expect much difference from high school in Squahamish. It's almost like the first day of school, except now, I'm on my own. I mean, I have been on my own since mom left. I did the work for others, I get paid to do the things I loved; writing, but now? I get to talk about what I love, and I have discovered who I truly am and some habits that I couldn't break; staying stuck in the moment and what has happened instead of working for tomorrow. I guess the first boldest stroke I have done is breaking free from Squahamish and going off to college, here in Grinnell.
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I walked further within the woods and the sound of someone sobbing becoming much more evident and clearer. "Hello?" slowly walking forward towards the hot spring and sitting by the rocks in front of me was the one and only ... Aster Flores.
Her eyes are blood shot and swollen, her face stained with tears and pink. "Ellie?" she says between sobs. What happened? I never thought I would live a day to see her cry and hurt. Without any other time wasted, I dropped everything I was holding and ran towards Aster, knelt down and greeted her with a warm embrace.
We stayed in this position for at least 10 minutes, her head resting on my shoulder and my arms wrapped around her. After a few years being apart from Aster, I still find myself flustered at the way she looked at me. Despite the circumstances of her crying and totally upset about something, I still felt a wave of love raining over me. Is this love? The unspoken understanding, the loud thoughts of silence, the greater joy? Before I continued my thoughts, Aster broke free from the embrace and looked straight at me. Her eyes shimmering and dilated, still sniveling, and she smiled. The smile that I have been hoping to see. The smile that could get anyone to fall for her.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked trying not to trigger any unwanted emotions and she nodded slightly. "Well, I visited my family after a couple of months. The last conversation I had with them didn't go very well. And uh, I thought that I was ready to confront my family for who I really am." She says, and I carefully listened but what she said next astounded me.
"I uh, I went out a few times with Paul. While we were writing each other letters, I uhm, I thought to myself that I am longing for something to fill up the hole that you left. I was longing for some presence and so, I decided to give Paul a chance." Feeling hurt was an understatement. I felt betrayed and broken. The reason she stopped writing back was because she was caught up with Paul? Before I got to say anything that I would regret, she spoke up again, "If it's any consolation though, it didn't last between the both of us, Paul and I" she motioned "I realized that I was blinded and scared for what these emotions really are. The fact that you are here just proves that these feelings are in fact real." she says without breaking any eye contact, she looked away and started to sob again and so I offered her some tissue while she continued to speak.
"After the realization, I told my family that this is who I am and I could never be what I want to be if I never left the cage that I'm trapped in." now understanding where she is coming from, she was afraid to be judged for who she was and for having no one to catch her back. "I know you must think that I'm stupid or something for not writing back, or for being selfish because I neglected you, and I'm really sor-"
I spared no time and lunged forward. I grabbed her face and kissed her tender lips. They were warm and soft just like the first time we kissed. Butterflies were flying around my stomach and it felt like there was no one else around us in this world filled with chaos and confusion. She squeezed my arm slightly and relaxed, we slowly pulled away from the kiss, breathless, eyes staring straight at each other. For two years, I waited for another moment that I could kiss her again, be with her and feel her presence. This? This is what I needed after two years.
"You could never be stupid or, or selfish. And, and you shouldn't be apologizing because we can never control the feelings that we feel." I stated breaking the silence between us. "Just like what Plato said, love is simply the name for desire and pursuit of the whole. What you had with Paul is only natural because you were longing for something that only at the time he could give." I said genuinely still slightly hurt that they dated while I was away.
"I guess we both had our first bold stroke, huh? You figuring out who you are and, I finally found what I believed in. Well actually, two strokes, I had to leave Squahamish behind and that was the hardest move, for me at least" I told her softly and her face lit up slightly. "So you did find something good to believe in Iowa, that's good for you" she giggled softly.
"I'm confused, how did you know that I was here?" she asks and I didn't know what to say. I didn't have any great reason because it only felt right for me to come here, no reason, just a gut feeling. "I didn't" I answered honestly, "huh.." she sighed still confused whether I am telling the truth.
We spent the whole day catching up about college and her relationship with Paul that lasted for a few months. If I am being honest, I am proud that she followed her dream in painting and that she is happy with what she is doing. Her relationship with Paul didn't last and they both agreed that it was only right that they remained as friends. She admitted that during the time of their relationship, she was longing for the Paul that she once thought was the writer of SmithCorona and that it would be a lie if she didn't miss me at all.
"I've missed you a lot, Ellie" she said before stopping in front of my house. I got out of her car and walked towards my door, she came and followed me. We are now facing one another at my front door, "Uhm, so this is me, I'll see you tomorrow?" she nodded and said "I told you that in a couple of years, I was going to be sure for who I am." We both laughed at the memory of when we were bantering about whether she could have been different.
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From having the worst day ever, to having a not so bad day because of Ellie. I'm relieved that nothing has changed between us and that I got the reassurance that things will be okay eventually. One bold stroke, four more to go. Before I could further dive deep into my thoughts, my phone buzzed.
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"This isn't right, Aster."
A/N A lot has happened in this chapter huh? Their second kiss, Aster's relationship with Paul. The fact that Ellie and Aster finally had their moment again. But now, who messaged and what isn't right?
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The Other Half // The Half of It - Netflix // Ellister / Assie Fanfic //
Fanfiction"I'll see you in a couple of years", she says as she rode her bike away. A lot of laughters, tears and pain. New challenges and feelings to be felt. What is left unsaid to be told, feelings to be touched. What's next for Paul, Ellie and Aster? Wha...
