Again

Chapter 34.

"Okay, I know this sounds weird but your sighing is getting on my nerves," Emma tells me and steals a carrot off my plate. After I drove her home, we thought that we could might as well watch some movies and study. I need a distraction anyway and being alone in my room wouldn't do me good. I imagine myself sitting on the desk and instead of doing homework I would be staring at the house across me and wonder why I never had a second thought about the persons living there.

I smile apologetic and continued eating. "This is the fifth time in thirty minutes. Is this your way of telling me that I am boring? Or not a good cook?"

I giggle. "Emma, all you did was cop off some carrots and open the salsa dip that was already in the fridge."

She huffs playfully. "To my defense that dip was really hard to open," she smiles. I manage to give her a smaller version and turn my head back toward the television. We have been watching Scandal on Netflix for over an hour now, but I wasn't paying attention. All I can think about is Harry and what he is doing right now. I don't even know where these kind of thoughts come from, but part of me just wants to get up and go find him. I'm on the edge and my feet are tickling. I want to brush my hand through his hair, the way he always does and which I guess is a nervous gesture of him.

"Do you want to talk about... you know... What happened at the parking lot?"

I press my lips into a fine line. I am giving her some major props for not pressing it since I got here, so to blame her for the pang that runs through my body would be wrong. I shake my head lightly and take another cracker with peanut butter. My stomach is rebelling, but I still shove it down anyway. So many questions go through my mind and I can't decide on which to focus now. I want to tell her, anyone really, but what would she think of me if I do? I let him in so easily. This isn't me, I am not the person that leaves in the middle of a school day for a boy. And most certainly not someone who is like Harry.

"I still want you to know that I am there for you," she whispers and takes my hand. I look at the ground. "And that you can call me, even if it's at three in the morning. You know how much I hate getting disturbed by my sleep."

I smile at her. "I know," I say, squeezing her hand. "I just... don't understand how we got here? I always tried to stay away from drama, so what did I do wrong?"

She shrugs, turning the volume of the television down just as Olivia kisses the President. I look away. "Drama found you instead, I guess. But the question I want to ask you is, what do you actually want?"

I frown. Emma has always been the best person to ask for advice. I always envied that about her, she always seems to have a solution. She asks me questions I wouldn't dare to ask myself, like she did right now. Is it true: what do I want? Do I want Harry to leave me alone? Because really, I did ask for this. I wanted answers, I couldn't stop being noisy.

I sigh. "I want what I wanted from the beginning I guess?"

"And what would that be?" she asks, but her face expressions lets me know that she already knows the answer.

"I want answers. I want to know why Harry claims to be a good person, when everyone is warning me from him. Why is he so rude? Why couldn't we go to the hospital when Finn was hurt, and why did Harry beat him up?"

Emma smiles and the warmth that comes from her tears me up. "If you ask me, I'd say that if you want some answers, you fucking get some. Don't let those stupid boys toy you around, you have the power to get answers and one way or another you will get some," she gestures to the television. "Nobody can hurt a bad-ass. Don't let them hurt you Mia, nobody can do that without your approval. And if I recall correctly, you haven't given them one right? Show them who the boss is."

"I wish I was that strong...“

Emma places her hand on my back. "You are strong. Nobody can tell you otherwise, Mia. If anyone out of our group can be a bad-ass than it is you."

I laugh at her as she jumps up and begins to kick the air. I pull her back down by her shirt and she smirks widely. I feel strangely calmer now, stronger even. My confidence has been build back up as I turn the volume back up and watch as Olivia Pope walks away from the love of her life.

"I am not your property," she screams, before storming off.

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A/N.: I hope you are ready for a double update! Yey!