Zara's Wolf (Book 1 of the Zara's Wolf Trilogy) BWWM

35. Acceptance

It took a long time for me to climb out of my dark abyss, but when the light reflected in his golden eyes, everything came together. I made mistakes, and hurt him in the process, but despite everything, there he stood. The moment our gazes met, I could feel the strength of our bond, feel the electricity that coursed through our veins and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

He is my past, my present, and my future.

And I blew it.

I had been living a lie, and now with the blind-fold removed, the light catches me off-guard.

Staring at him like a deer caught in the headlines of an oncoming car, I draw a blank. It's not until he looks away that I'm able to assemble my thoughts.

Gathering courage, I try again. "Evan, I..."

"Why are you here?" he grumbles, picking at the peeling brown paint on the wooden railing of the porch.

The heaviness in his voice breaks my heart. It's the sound of a broken man, and I brought it upon him.

There's a chokehold on my windpipe, and all I can do is open and close my mouth like a fish.

He looks up at me then, hurt brimming in his bloodshot eyes. "You rejected me, remember?"

Cringing, I pull the blanket tighter around me, lowering my gaze to the wooden floor. "I'm sorry, Evan. I really messed up this time. I don't deserve your forgiveness, or for you to accept me now, but I... I hope you will."

I can see him struggling. Deep down, I know he wants to forgive me, to accept me, but I'm such a basket case for a mate, and accusing him of drugging me and turning my back on him was a new low, even for me.

When he doesn't respond, I sigh. "Look, I know I'm a terrible person for what I did to you, but I—"

"It's not that," he interjects. His eyes flick up to look into mine for a half second before darting away. "While what you did was pretty rotten, and rejecting me was the worst thing a mate can do," I flinch as he continues with only a slight pause, "the real issue is trust."

I swallow. I know he's right in that regard. My eyes travel to his scruffy chin, where his stubble has doubled in length since I last saw him. Traveling further south, I realize that he's wearing the same t-shirt and denim jeans since I last saw him as well. My eyes fly back up to meet his and I flush, looking away quickly.

He catches my chin with the crook of his index finger and coaxes my gaze to return to his.

A shiver runs up my spine from the intensity of his scrutiny, but I cannot look away this time.

"You ask me to forgive you, but how can I if you don't trust me?"

"I do," I pipe up, my heart beginning to race within my chest.

"Do you? You don't act like it, so why should I believe you?"

My eyes prickle and a lump begins to form in my throat. "Because I'm willing to admit that I was wrong and made a mistake."

"So you believe me when I said I didn't drug you?"

I nod my head a little in his grasp. "Ava told me. I took Ecstasy that night." My lips waver as I close my eyes, disgusted with myself. "I don't even remember taking it. Why would I even take it?" My voice cracks. "I can't believe I blamed you... I'm so sorry."

I barely get the last word out before his lips grasp mine. A bolt of electricity rips through me before he quickly pulls away.

"I was there," he blurts out as my head spins. I can barely catch what he's saying as his hands grip my arms, steadying me as my knees buckle. "I was just in the city to pick up something and on my way home, I saw you out on the street and I just knew you were my mate. I thought I'd catch up with you, but you got into the club before I could, and then I couldn't find you inside. I saw your friend, but not you. I looked for you and when I stepped outside for some fresh air to clear my head, I found your clothes lying around in the alley. I knew you had shifted, so I put your clothes and my own in my backpack and shifted into my wolf. I carried everything on my back and ran after you, following your scent out of the city and into the mountains. When I finally caught up to you, you had passed out from exhaustion and had returned to your human-form. I shifted back and tried to wake you, but you were out cold."

He hesitates, but only for a moment as he releases my arms and brushes his hand through his tousled brown hair. His eyes look out to the lake, and even he 's struggling to catch his breath. "So I dressed you, and shifted back into my wolf-form to look for shelter. I could sense a storm coming, so I needed to hurry. When I found the cave, and came back for you, you were starting to wake. I had no time to shift back into my human form because that's when you saw me."

I'm shaking as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "By then, I just wanted to get you out of the rain before you could catch a cold. Your reaction told me everything. You didn't know how you got out there, and you didn't know that you were a shifter too because you were terrified of me."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, twisting the edge of the blanket between my fingers.

He purses his lips, his eyes lowering as his cheeks redden. "I thought you'd get upset if I told you I dressed you."

I probably would have, but only mildly, right? Sighing, I let my head fall before tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. "You should have told me this."

"You didn't give me a chance."

I shake my head lightly. I've made such a mess of everything. "I know," I say. Pressing my lips together, I think over everything he'd said. "Is that everything now? Any more secrets?"

He shakes his head, but his lips pull back in a mischievous grin. He reaches over and grasps one of my dreadlocks, coaxing me to come closer.

A tingling sensation spreads from the roots of my hair down my spine as I lean in. His breath is hot on my face and his eyes twinkle with playful desire. His other hand slips around my waist

"Only that I missed you, and I'm glad you've returned to your senses and came back for me."

"Does that mean," my voice hitches as he draws me closer, my body pressing up against his, "that you'll accept me?"

His lips graze my cheek, drawing a moan to rumble up my throat. The blanket slips from my fingers as I press my hands against his chest.

His voice whispers against my ear. "I never rejected you."

His lips grasp mine in a flurry of emotions before he pulls away, kissing my jawline and moving down to my neck where he pauses.

But only momentarily.

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Author's Note: THE END! And the ending isn't a cliff-hanger... just meant to be open-ended so you can draw your own conclusions. ;)

Well, I hope you enjoyed Zara's "coming of age as a werewolf" journey. Or self-discovery. I posted a follow-up page after this one where you can leave comments/suggestions/feedback and whatnot if you would like to say a little more about this story and the SEQUEL.

Thank you so much for reading!