Zara's Wolf (Book 1 of the Zara's Wolf Trilogy) BWWM

29. The Truth

Five days have passed and my parents haven't asked a single question about my experience in the wilderness—not even a word. They haven't asked me about how I managed to survive all that time, or what I did to find food, water, and shelter. They know me, and they know I've never gone camping before or been exposed to the elements with just the clothing on my back. Shouldn't they be bursting with questions?

Maybe I need to be the one to bring it up, but I'm too nervous. I'm growing more anxious with their unusual silence on the subject as each day passes.

In addition to that, I'm missing Evan more and more. A deep-seated feeling of loneliness rests on my shoulders, burning within me like a fire whenever I think about him, and all I want is to see his face or hear his voice.

This feeling of longing is foreign to me. I've dated a couple of guys in high school, but I've never felt as connected to them as I do with Evan. The fact that I've only known him for a few days baffles me. I shouldn't feel this close to him, should I? Even though we argued, I still want to see him. I regret my words, and the guilt twists away at my stomach. He was just doing what he thought was best for me. I'm not saying he was absolutely right, just that I'm acknowledging that he had good intentions.

However, since my return home, I've been waking up with headaches every morning, which is far more than usual for me. I used to only get headaches once a month when I was younger, and then it started to build to once a week. Waking up with one everyday now is irritating, and I'm losing my patience with them. It's too much. Shouldn't my medicine be helping? Maybe I should make an appointment with my physician to increase the dosage or something? Anything to ease the discomfort I get every morning.

Then there is my job at the zoo. Just as I suspected, my supervisor, Ruby, cut my hours in half. It will take weeks, if not months, to get back to full-time status.

As I get on the MAX light-rail train after my first shift back at the zoo, I wonder, does it really matter if I keep this job in the long run? Why not just start looking for a new full-time job and be rid of Ruby and her attitude altogether?

What about Evan?

I chew on my bottom lip as my thoughts dance around him. The way he smiled, somewhat self-consciously, as he told me about being a tour guide and loved it. He's doing what he enjoys, while living a double life as a shifter. What about me? What should I do with my life?

Ava and I had talked about going to beauty school and becoming aestheticians, but we agreed that taking a year off to work and save our money up first was best. We wanted to share an apartment together, just the two of us. What now? If I am a shifter like Evan and the others, do I really belong here in the city anymore?

I look at my perfectly manicured nails, free of dirt and grime after being in the woods for a week. Do I belong out there? The city is all I've known. Running hot water, restaurants and grocery stores around the corner, electricity, heat, and public transportation to anywhere in the city—these luxuries have been at my fingertips my entire life. I have never had to rely on the strength of my body and my intelligence to survive on my own when everything has been taken away.

Despite feeling helpless, I admit that it was oddly exhilarating.

And Evan was with me the entire time, I remind myself, playing with one of my dreadlocks, wrapping it around my fingers absentmindedly as the MAX rocks lightly on the track. He has accepted me, even if I don't want to accept it.

I wonder why it doesn't bother me so much anymore that he's a shifter? Sure, he kept the truth from me, but I can't blame him for feeling shy and embarrassed at the time that we met. The circumstances weren't in our favor, and I'm sure if he hadn't gotten quills in his muzzle, he would have revealed himself to me sooner, probably as a hiker.