Curves | ONC 2020 Shortlist

29. Jenny Wrestles with Esteem

Jenny blinked at the sudden proclamation. Go? Now? Didn't they just get started? Did she really screw things up this quickly?

She stood dumbly as Juliana pulled away. Why was this happening? All she'd done was—she closed her eyes as realization struck. Her mother's voice echoed in her mind, "You're defending your weaknesses again. When someone says you're fabulous, don't try to prove them wrong by pointing out all your flaws."

She'd done exactly that. And on top of that, basically called Juliana a liar by accusing her of having no problems. Had she even bothered asking? Nope. Not at all. She'd been too busy brandishing her unworthiness like it was some kind of demented trophy.

No one in their right mind liked whiners.

She jogged after Juliana. "Wait! I'm sorry!"

Noah turned around and greeted her exuberantly, as if she'd been gone for ages. Jenny couldn't help smiling and stroking his head.

Juliana's lips pressed together.

"I'm sorry," Jenny repeated.

"For what?" The trainer kept her expression shuttered.

Jenny wasn't sure how to answer that. Could she say she was sorry for being such a sniveling basket case without being an even bigger loser? A hundred different responses ran across her tongue. I'm sorry I accused you of handing over platitudes. I'm sorry I can't seem to get my act together. I'm sorry my self-esteem is in the toilet all the time.

Not one of them came out.

Juliana gave her a tight smile and started walking again.

"I get caught up in my own head sometimes," Jenny blurted as she kept pace with them. "There's this wicked, slimy, little creature in there that likes to remind me of all the things wrong with me. Sometimes I can ignore it, but sometimes it uses a bullhorn."

A corner of Juliana's mouth lifted. She slowed her walk and gave Jenny tentative eye contact.

Hope elevated Jenny's sagging heart, encouraging her to continue. "My mom says I sabotage myself all the time. I start worrying about stupid things, and I end up making those stupid things come true."

"Self-fulfilling prophecy," Juliana murmured.

Jenny nodded. "That's what I ended up doing today, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't mean to dismiss what you were telling me. I want to know more about the messes in your life. I want to listen to you, not that slimy little creature."

Juliana stopped walking to give Jenny her full attention. "I'm glad I outrank a wicked, slimy creature."

"You do! You totally do."

Noah whined at the lack of forward movement.

Jenny crouched down to scratch behind his ears and told him, "You have an amazing mom."

"You might not want to be eye-level with him," Juliana warned.

"Why not? He's so—" A huge, slobbery tongue doused Jenny's chin all the way up to her forehead, causing her to splutter. She stood quickly, wiping at her wet face. "Okay. I understand now."

Juliana laughed, and Jenny could feel more of the tension between them ebbing away. Thank you, Noah.

Noah to the rescue! I'm voting for him. My own dog likes to get me in trouble. What about your pets?