Chapter 38 - Fly Away

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No.

No no no no no no....

From the very first time our gazes met, I knew there was something about him.

Why didn't I just listen to my gut?

Instead, I forgot about it. I let him sweep me off my feet, I let him in, I let him take my heart. 

Oh, what a huge mistake that was. 

I didn't even know what to think. 

He's known you for the past four months, he's known about everything, and didn't even say anything to you. 

 I can't. 

I can't deal with this. 

"Raven..." Zack reached his arm out to me, a pained expression on his face when I flinched away. 

"Say something," he pleaded. "Please, I..."

I shot him a glare. "What's there to fucking say? You... you killed Ellie. You killed my best friend, and left me to clean up the mess."

"I'm so sorry - "

"No. Don't. Don't do this," I snarled. "You don't get to say 'I'm sorry' and expect me to instantly fall back under your spell. It's not going to work this time."

He looked regretful. "Can you let me explain?"

"There's nothing to explain."

"Please, just -"

I shook my head violently. "You hid this from me. You knew me all this time, you knew what you did, and you knew what this did to me."

"Raven, I didn't - "

"Save it," I snapped, whirling around and storming away. 

"Raven - "

"Don't touch me! Leave me alone," I seethed, backing away from him. 

A cold, guarded look overtook his eyes. 

"Let me explain - "

Unwilling to be near him any longer, I ran off, away from him.

Zack didn't follow me. 

***

When I finally stopped, I collapsed on a bare stretch of sand, tears brimming my eyes. 

My head was foggy with a thousand different thoughts and feelings. 

It was a complete tornado, throwing thoughts left and right, up and down and it all felt like buzzing, like there were a billion flies around my head and I couldn't get rid of the sound.

But one stood out the most. 

Why?

After what seemed like a million years - even though only a few minutes had passed - something snapped in me and I pulled out my phone. I called my mom to pick me up, feeling completely distraught. 

"Hey Raven, what's up?"

I sniffled. "Can.. can you come pick me up?"

Mom's panicked voice flooded through the line, easily picking up on my state of distress. "Yes, what happened?"

I gave her the short version of what happened, and she promised to be on her way. 

I pressed the end call button and slid my phone back in my purse. Burying my face in my hands, I let the tears silently fall. At this point, my makeup was probably ruined and I probably looked like a complete and utter mess, but that was the last of my worries. 

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