The Avaricious Spotlight

Chapter XXIII: Thinking Out Loud

Amethyst:

My mind went from blank space to full of questions, statements, imaginations and uncertainties. Logan Princeton's Truth or Dare gave me a mini heart attack. My mind kept on replaying his words, "I dare you to try to fall in love with me... Because I am already falling for you."

When he left using the glass door in my balcony, I became a statue, frozen in the spot where I last stood when he said those words. Those words that I hope he did not mean and mean at the same time. As his fan, I have imagined instances wherein Logan falls for me but this was different. Before, I imagine those things because I knew that they're impossible, but now that it is already happening, I cannot be more scared. Scared because we live in two different worlds. He belong to Hollywood and I belong to this small city. And scared because he was Logan Princeton, everyone's favorite heartthrob, and I am just a nobody. Who would even want Logan Princeton to date Amethyst Levou? I asked myself.

At the same time, my mind and heart cannot not deny that I have feelings for Logan as well. I love being with him even if it annoys me when he teases me with his charm. He was like my best friend even if he may not consider me as his. Do I really want to fall in love with Logan? I kept on asking myself. No, no, no, you can't. Things will be harder for both of us if that happens.

I tried to sleep eventhough the thought of Logan Princeton continues to dominate my mind. Maybe, when I wake up, my feelings for Logan Princeton will vanish and everything will be alright. Likewise, even if it's something that will make me unhappy, I hope that Logan's head hits the ground so hard that he will be able to forget whatever he said and feel about me. Shipping Logan and Amy would cause World War III not just to the fandom but to both of our damn lives.

Just when I thought I'd forget about him, I shifted from sleeping to dreaming about him.

•••••

Logan Princeton woke me up with the smell of flowers. I wanted to scream but my voice stopped me from even trying. On my bed, sits a dozen of huge bouquet of roses. They're beautiful, just like the person who sent this. I shook my head, trying to remove this Logan appreciation on my mind. Eventhough he's not around, all these has to be his plan.

Someone knocked on the door and I shouted "Come in!" aggressively, trying to sound like I am not that happy with all these roses eventhough my heart has been beating fast and my cheek has turned red as a tomato.

Mom came in with a huge grin on her face, and I'm not sure if this was sarcasm or if she was really admiring the fact that Logan had done all these.

"He is waiting for you downstairs. Music video today. Get dressed..." Mom told me, trying to sound as nice as possible. "And, Amy..."

"What Mom?" I asked curiously. Please don't give comments about love because I'm not good with mother-daughter talk when it comes to that topic.

"I think he's a very sweet person. And I think that he really likes you." she began. I'm not good with words so I just nodded. But, knowing my Mom, she does not take a nod as an answer. She forced me to say something by blocking my way to the bathroom.

"Okay Mom. I think it's nice but... do you want me to like him?" I asked her, hoping for a no as an answer.

"No and yes because all I want you is to be who you are. If you like him then go on, we'll be here to support you. Just know your limitations. Besides, you'll be 18 and I think it's the right time for you to have... someone special in your life." she said.

"He's a celebrity Mom, and that will make things hard for both us. This kind of relationship that you want for us is complicated."

"Honey, every relationship is complicated. Love itself is. In your case, your relationship might be unpredictable but I assure you there's no harm in trying."

"But it kills you when you are already on the heartbreaking stage." I argued.

We both sighed. I badly wanted Logan to be someone that is more than a just friend to me. However, I also want him to continue his career without me intervening. Besides, the media is so judgmental. Now that the avaricious spotlight shines on him, I have no right to ruin his career.

After taking a bath, I wore the dress that Logan bought for me. Today is the Music Video shoot, the last day that I promise to be with Logan Princeton. After this, I will force myself to remove him from my life and to let him live in accordance to what his staff and the fandom want... for Logan to remain single.