Keeping Her A Secret

4

My night was starting to go smoothly.  I was finally letting my guards down.   I was starting  to enjoy  the party  and planned on enjoying the  rest of the night but he just had to ruin it with his presence

I could've  bet my life savings that he wasn't   gonna be here
Well thank  God I didn't else I'd have been left  penniless
I never expected him to be here.  I never did.

"Nessa" Hassan called bringing me out of my trance "I said look at your bestie" I glanced at him and I forced a smile.  I got up and hugged him briefly.  I almost died when I inhaled  his cologne.  He smells the  same, so perfect.  He hasn't  changed one bit.

"How are you ,where have you been" he asked beaming.  I had to keep up with the smile

" I traveled out  of the country " I kept it short.

"And you couldn't tell me.  Me of all the guys.  I thought we were best friends.  Thought we shared everything "

"I am so sorry.  I had to leave.   It was so urgent.   I lost everyone's contact,  including yours" another lie.  I fucking know his number by heart .

"You could've  searched  me on social media.  You know all of my handles "  fuck why is he doing this.

"Just forgive me please "

"It's okay dear.  Come here, I  miss you so much " He pulled me into another hug.  This time I  almost lost it 

"How are you doing, you look good" he checked me out. 

"I'm fine and you're not looking bad yourself" we both laughed.

"My goodness  Vanessa  you've changed.   What  the hell happened to my girl " He said smiling.  He knows me more than anyone in here.  Not even Hassan knows me as much as he does.   I just smiled hoping he doesn't push it.

"So what's good.   How is Hafsa, did she come with you. " his smile fell instantly.

"Sadam can you please come here for a sec" Hassan  called .  He turned and excused  himself.  I watched as he walked away.  He hasn't changed that much.  He's still the same Sadam I know.

Looking at him now, it's just like I'm  looking at her.  They look so alike. Exactly.  I wished Nayla got some traits  from me but no she decided to look like this man making the situation  more complicated. No telling,  if anyone of   the guys sees Nayla , they'll  know the truth instantly. My little secret  would be exposed. I really needs to return to the states before everyone  finds out about Nayla especially  Saddam

He can't see  her.  At least not now. I'm still not ready to face the whole situation. I  can't  stay in this party. I can't stand seeing him again. I can't stand staying in the same room with him or else  I'll  break down . It took the last strength in me not to break down her . I  texted Debby  to order me a ride. 

Ten minutes  later, i told the guys i was leaving that it was an emergency.  I finally left the party.  When i got to the car, I couldn't hold it in, i let it all out.  I picked up my phone to call the only person  that understands me so well. That understands the matter.

" Lola I saw him.  I saw him , i even hugged him"  I  cried out 

" Fuck! I knew you were going to see him . I sensed  this was gonna  happen. I fucking knew it.  What happened. Did he do anything? "

"I  saw him and he talked about me leaving and all that. I had to leave the party. I can't  hold it in anymore . I saw him Lola. He's the same. He never changed "

"He didn't see her right?"

"No.. He can't see her. He'll find out  . He would know the truth instantly "

"Let's hope he won't, hopefully  he returns very soon and he won't have to see her  before you return.  Just don't cry. Where are you now"

"On my way home "

"Good, just go home,take a shower and get some rest. Everything  would be fine.  Just stay safe"

"Thank you baby.. I love you "

"I love you more. Give Nayla a kiss for me "

"I will.  Bye" i hung up and wiped my tears.

I really hope and pray that Saddam  returns  to Abuja very soon.  He really can't see Nayla. He can't  see his daughter.

I met Saddam few months after meeting Hassan.  About a year or so.   Hassan and Saddam  happens to be cousin.  I heard about  Saddam  from Hassan first before meeting him.  I saw his pictures and forget it.  I lost it.  I fell like a fool.  I had this huge crush  on him and it was crazy that I begged Hassan for his number.  He gave me  and I texted him. We started talking just randomly.

Saddam visited Lagos and trust that I lost it.  I realized  that this was no small crush   I was indeed in love with him.  We hung out  couple of times.  Being the  kind of person i was. I confessed  my feelings to him while we were alone in the car. At first he thought I was joking but when he realized I was serious as hell.  He begged that   he wasnt ready for relationship that he had just gotten  his heart broken.  We made a promise  to become best of friends. Well he suggested that. 

Indeed we were best of friends.   He returned to Abuja  and we were closer than  ever.  We shared literally everything.  I fell deeply in love with this guy every  passing day.  A year after I confessed  my feelings to him.  I travelled down to Abuja.   I told him how my feelings never changed  and I still do love him..  He informed that  he was emotionally  unavailable  at the moment.

Silly me didn't see it as a big deal.  I was even open to the idea of waiting till he was finally  ready and trust that I did.  I waited.   This still didn't ruin our friendship.   We were closer than ever.  A year and half later or so.  He dropped the bombshell that he's  finally in love.   I could still  Remember how I was that night.  Thinking he was talking about me.  He informed me about this new secretary of his and how much he has grown to love her.  I cried for one week straight. 

I felt remorseful  at first but his love was stronger.  I let all of that slide.   He introduced  me to his new girlfriends  Hafsa and we were friends.   Saddam and I were close regardless  of him having  a girlfriend.  

A year later, he proposed,  wedding  preparation started.  We travelled  for his wedding.  On his bachelor's  night.   We went to one of the finest clubs in the city.  We had fun and partied wild.  The rest of the guys left with their girls  catch  leaving me and Saddam.    We returned to my hotel room .  We talked about stuffs and drank more.

I remember  I made the first move by kissing him. Having him so close to me did something to me.  My senses came back  and I stopped. Before I  knew it, he slammed  his lips on mine and kissed me so passionately.   We ended up on the bed making love like our life depended  on it.  That night I fulfilled my biggest fantasy.  My biggest dream.  It wasn't expected but I loved every  bit of it 

My heart broke the next day when he insisted that nothing happened  and we should forget it ever happened.  He insisted  he was drunk and didn't  know what  came over him.  He begged that we continue  our friendship .   I cried my eyes out that day . I returned to Lagos that day.   I couldn't even attend the wedding.  I lied that I had family emergency  to tend to.

To him, the night meant nothing truly because he continued talking to me like nothing happened.   I went with the flow, tried to forget everything but I couldn't that night was still vivid. 

The bombshell happened when I found out I was pregnant.   I couldn't tell him. He was married and my best friend. He just got married. I would be ruining  his  one month old marriage if I explained this to him.    I needed to do something.

I told Lola , my only female best friend and she suggested  I joined  her in New Jersey so as to hide my baby and my pregnancy.   That was the only option so I took it. 

Saddam  can't  see Nayla.  He'll find out and that would ruin his marriage.  All I did was for his happiness.  All I did was to save his marriage. I have to find a solution  to this problem as soon as possible