Chapter 16

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Sansa enjoyed these days and nights with Daenerys more than she thought possible

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Sansa enjoyed these days and nights with Daenerys more than she thought possible. Sometimes she wondered what it would be like to kiss again, what it would be like to do more than kiss in her bed. Blocking away the fear of that day in Winter town, Sansa would sometimes fantasize that she'd not stopped in the potter's house. Or when Daenerys tried to pull her into her bedchamber after their second kiss, Sansa would imagine letting her. She imagined what she would do, tasting her, touching her the way she touched herself. Sometimes she would watch Daenerys sleep, the hunger for her so strong that she would be tempted to wake her and shower her with kisses. Instead of acting on these desires, they would hold hands, sometimes embrace in comfort, exchange heated looks that exhausted Sansa's willpower, but there would be nothing further and Daenerys would dress and leave through her solar before dawn. Sansa had given instructions to the servants not to enter in the morning until she called for them but she still bolted the door during the night just in case their restraint failed them. She couldn't decide whether or not she was disappointed that it didn't.

In addition to the precautions taken with coming and leaving Sansa's bedchamber, during the day they did their best to hide their newfound closeness. But Sansa wanted even more time with her so she told Jon she wanted Daenerys to be part of meetings with respect to the North, and to allow them to deal with petitioners on their own. It was something he hated anyway so he was glad to leave it to them. At the beginning she would ask for Daenerys's opinions but Daenerys would leave the decision to her. But by the third day Sansa had encouraged her to take the lead and the petitioners had much praise for the thoughtfulness of their queen. Working together during the day, sharing a bed at night, Sansa could almost pretend her long dead dream of having what her parents had together was true. In the past, when Sansa thought of marrying she thought of securing Winterfell, enduring what she had to in order to produce heirs, and the necessity of it being someone at least tolerable to her. The last part is what had added to Tyrion's appeal because he was more than tolerable. But what she hadn't thought of was what it would be like to share a life, the miniscule details of the day to day, and the familiarity that comes from sharing a bedchamber with someone with whom she wanted to share everything.

These thoughts made Sansa both happy and afraid. Daenerys would be leaving very soon and this illusion they'd created would have to end. She should've anticipated how attached she would become, she should've recognized that allowing these nights together would only grow the emotional connection she felt, the melting down of the walls around her heart. Sansa didn't just yearn for Daenerys's touch, she yearned for all of her. And it was more terrifying than trusting Daenerys with the North had been.

Sansa was standing on the outer wall watching Daenerys in the distance in the soldier camps. Jon was updating her on the soldiers' training and their readiness. Daenerys looked capable and strong as she dealt with her duties and Sansa felt confident in this queen she had chosen. She thought of the other night when she'd shown Daenerys a few sketches of different dragon designs she wanted to embroider on the dress. Daenerys liked the one-headed dragon best instead of her traditional three-headed sigil and had been very complimentary of Sansa's drawing skills. The memory of it made her feel warm but then she remembered last night. Something had been bothering Daenerys but she called it a headache. Sansa wondered whether it had been the rose and book she'd given to her, whether referencing that flirtation had made Daenerys cross with her. Watching her now in the distance, Sansa wanted Daenerys to look in her direction, she wanted to see a smile meant for her alone, but she chastised herself for these foolish thoughts and pushed them away. But then Daenerys suddenly did and Sansa smiled to herself, marveling at how a look could make her feel such euphoria.

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