Heya guys here's the next chapter of the story. Really hope you like it. Leave me your feedback.
Zayn's Pov:
There's something different about Niall. Something dosen't feel right. Niall's never lashed out like that. I wish he'd speak to me. I know the lads said he needed space, But I know Niall and I know he dosen't act like that unless there's something really bothering him. I need to know he's alright. I walked out of the room little mix were rehearsing in and dropped down on the small couch outside. I pulled my phone from my pocket needing to try Niall's phone again. I unlocked my phone and quickly typed in my passcode. I had loads of missed calls and texts from the lads, Friends and family.
Zayn what's going on?- Haz
What the hells up with Niall?- Lou
Zayn have you seen??- Li
Zayn this isn't a joke anymore fucking sort it out!!- Haz
Mate you need to check Niall's twitter now!!- Danny
Zayn pick up the fucking phone!!- Lou. What the hell is going on? I quickly opened up my twitter app and logged on. I headed straight over to Niall's twitter. There was a video link there. I took a deep breath and clicked on the video. Niall's face filled up my screen and I felt my heart wrench. Niall's eyes were red, He'd been crying.
"Hello everybody. I em, I don't really know what to say. Well that's a lie, I know what I want to say but I just don't know where to start. This isn't some attention seeking thing. It's not a sick plot to bring in sympathy or anything. This is just me being honest for the first time in a while. I've been lying to myself and to you guys for so long. I haven't been me and I hate myself for it" My heart was pounding hard. "I don't want to lie anymore. I don't want to pretend. I need to make it clear that you all mean so much to me. You'll never know how much that statement is true. You've all made my dreams come true. You've given me a life that people can only dream of having. You've given me the opportunity to create music that you'll listen to and that'll bring a smile to each of your faces. I wouldn't have achieved anything I have without you all. You guys are the best fans in the world. Now I know every artist says that but it's the gods honest truth. Don't any of you change who you are. I love you all so much" My eyes filled up with tears. What was this? "Now for my boys. My bestfriends. My brothers. I don't want any of you blaming yourselves for this. I don't want you crying and I don't want you thinking you could have saved me, Because you couldn't. Continue on with the band you all have to promise me that. Don't let this stop you guys. Keep writing and keep releasing music it's what I want" He can't be. He can't be saying goodbye. "I'm sorry. Please don't hate me for this. I can't handle the thought of you guys hating me. I love you guys. I love you so much. We have so many memories together. When you think of me don't think of me this way. Think of me how I was. Think of the good memories we had. All the laughs. I won't say a name. I won't say a name but you know who are. I'm sorry. I love you, I love you so much you know who you are" Me. He was talking about me. Niall was doing this because of me. How could I not see what I was doing to him. I quickly exited twitter and called Niall's phone. The phone went straight to voicemail. "Niall" I chocked out. I jumped straight up from the chair and ran towards the exit door.
"Zayn? Zayn where are you going?" I heard Perrie speak, I quickly turned around.
"I have to go. Niall he. I have to go" I stated.
"But management they w-"
"I don't give a shit what they want! Did you not hear me? Niall needs me!" I spat.
"They'll be annoyed Zayn! You signed a contract!" Perrie exclaimed, I rolled my eyes.
"Like I said I don't give a shit! Don't you ever think you or management mean more to me than Niall does because you don't!" I stated before pushing open the door and running out.
The car ride was complete agony. I kept calling Niall's phone only to hear his answer machine at the other end of the line. Why wouldn't he talk to me about all this? Why wouldn't he tell me how he was feeling? How could I not see that something wasn't right with him? How could I be so blind? The person I love with all my heart was suffering and I didn't even notice it. My phone kept vibrating in my hand. Calls and texts from everyone were coming through, But nobody else mattered. Nothing else mattered more to me then getting to Niall as fast as I could. The second we arrived at our home. I jumped straight out the car and ran to the frontdoor. I pulled my keys from my pocket and attempted to open the frontdoor. My hands were shaking so badly I couldn't get the key in the key hole.
"Come on!" I stated. I took a deep breath and tried again. The second the door unlocked I pushed it open and rushed inside slamming the door behind me. "Niall!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I ran straight into the living room, He wasn't there. I then ran into the kitchen and he wasn't there. "Niall!" I yelled desperately. I checked our bedroom. "Niall!" I ran into the bathroom and found Niall slumped down in the corner. A bottle of open pills were beside him and blood was flowing down his hands. I quickly rushed beside him and grabbed his body. "Niall! Niall how many did you take? Niall how many did you take?!" I cried out. He was broken. Niall opened his mouth to speak but no words would leave his lips. "Spit them out! Come on Ni spit them out! Niall make yourself sick and spit them out please!" I begged him as I pulled his body towards the toilet. Inside the toilet I saw loads of different pills floating around, Relief overtook my body. "Thankgod!" I exclaimed. My eyes then landed on Niall's arms and I felt physically sick. Scars. He had scars all over his arms. I quickly grabbed a towel from the bathroom rack and wrapped it around Niall's wrists quickly applying pressure. How long has he been doing this? How longs he been doing this and how the fuck didn't I notice? Everything started to make sense. Niall was always hauled up in the bathroom for ages. He would always wear long sleeve shirts and at night when we slept together he'd either refuse to turn on the light or sleep in his long sleeve t shirt. "Niall keep applying pressure to that alright? I'm gonna call a ambulance!" Niall weakly did as I said, I quickly pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed the number for the ambulance. Once it was done I moved to sit behind Niall, I held him close to me while continuing to apply pressure to his wrist. "How long Ni? How long have you been doing this?" I questioned.
"A while" Niall mumbled with a weak voice.
"Why? Why would you do it? Why wouldn't you come to me and talk to me?" I cried out, Niall looked up at me.
"Because. Because you aren't ever here to talk to. You aren't ever here anymore" Guilt washed over my body.
"How long?" I asked dreading the answer.
"Since you and Perrie" Tears rolled down my face.
"Why wouldn't you tell me? Niall I could have done something!" I exclaimed.
"Done what? You said it'd be a few months Zayn. But it wasn't. It's been longer and you haven't ended it. I couldn't take it. I couldn't handle seeing or hearing about it. I thought you'd stand up to them in the end, But when you spoke about the engagement I just couldn't do it anymore" Niall explained, Tears filled my eyes. This was all my fault.
"I did this to you" I chocked out, Niall slowly shook his head. "Yes I did. How could I not see I was hurting you? Niall you know I'd never hurt you right?" Niall nodded. "I'm so sorry. Niall I'm sorry for everything. I don't wanna lose you. Niall I can't lose you. I'll end it. I'll tell management to shove the contract just please don't leave me. Don't leave me on my own without you, Niall please" I cried out. Niall placed his hand ontop of mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"I'm here. I'm right here" Niall whispered. "But they won't let you end it not this fast" He exclaimed, I cupped his cheek.
"They won't have a choice. I'll post a video. I'll post a picture of us. I'll do whatever it takes. I don't care what they say. I don't care what they do. I'll argue with anyone I have to. Nobody means more to me than you do and I'm not losing you. I can't" I stated. Just then the sound of the ambulance sirens filled my ears.
"I love you" Niall whispered, I smiled weakly at him.
"I love you so much and I swear Ni I'll never hurt you like this again. But you have to promise you won't leave me" I cried out, Niall slowly nodded.
"I promise" I was going to make this right. No matter what I had to do, I had to make this right.
