Open Relationship

Chapter 20

Okay guys. I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Here's the next chapter. 

Ive been busy! I just got my acceptance letter into graduate school and I'm graduating with my bachelor's in May!!! Hooray! Enjoy this as an early Christmas present. 

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James

 

I hadn’t let Noah stay the night. I was still confused and I knew he understood that. Everything was still too fresh. Unfortunately, as much as I wanted to convince myself otherwise, I wanted Landon more than Noah. I don’t even think I was sure if I wanted Noah at all. He was amazing, handsome, and loved me…but I couldn’t force myself to feel something that wasn’t there.

I cursed as I threw my purse at my dresser angrily. Landon couldn’t even imagine the amount of pain he had caused in me now. I knew it was partially my fault, I had led Noah on, continuing a relationship that I wasn’t interested in at the end and let Landon believe that something was there with Noah. I had dug myself into this hole, and now I was being buried alive. I was suffocating in this dilemma, but I had repeatedly told Noah no…and he wasn’t giving up. How many times would I have to tell him I wasn’t sure before he just gave up?

I let my face fall into my hands as I started to cry. Why did I still want Landon? Why couldn’t I convince myself that someone who actually loved me and wanted me was the better option? Why was I torturing myself?

Landon

 

            I woke up and saw a missed call from Abby. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to listen to the voicemail she’d left me or not.  I sighed and finally decided to give in. I would have to listen to it eventually.

            “Hey Landon, it’s your sister who is still mad at you. I just thought I would at least update you. James is okay now. Noah saved her from some guys who tried to rape her in an alley. Can you believe that? I guess he’s still trying even though she told him no and that she wanted you. He’s a trooper, I think he should give up though. You should know though, eventually she’ll stop telling him no, because you gave her up. To some extent I understand your excitement for this opportunity, but I still think you’re making a mistake. You love here, you love your job, and you love James. I also know you love me, and I don’t see why you feel the need to run off to Africa and abandon us all here. Just keep in mind that once you make this decision and leave there’s no turning back from it. You should really weigh the pros and cons of this situation, and then decide if you still want to go. I have to go now. Oh and by the way I’m still mad at you.”

            The message ended with that and I sighed, all of her words buzzing in my head. I thought of James, and how much fun I have when I’m with her. How I feel when our lips meet, and the way her smile reaches her eyes when I tease her. When I had first heard of the job, I had been angry at her, thinking she’d chosen Noah over me. I had jumped at it, happy to get away from all of this drama, all of this hurt. Even after Abby had told me it had been a misunderstanding, I was trying to reason with myself that this was the better choice, that I didn’t really love James, that it was just an infatuation. But did I really believe that? Could I honestly tell myself that if I went, I wouldn’t regret leaving James?

With an answer in mind, I got up and started to get ready.

Abby