Hope.

• Chapter 30 •

• Luca •

"What's up, Luca?" Dickson asked, a look of concern flashing his pale skin. "You look sick. Did you get any sleep last night?"

"It's nothing," I mumbled, rubbing my temples. My head was pounding, I don't remember when I slept last night. I couldn't stop crying, it was bad. Everything that had happened kept replaying in my head over and over. It had been a whole day since the incident and even then I felt terrible. Dickson had been pestering me about my mood the whole day. Apparently, Lily was sick so he had been latching onto me.

"It's not nothing. I mean you're usually a grumpy person but today you're just being straight-up rude," he said, folding his arms over his chest, narrowing his dark brown eyes at me suspiciously. "Like, you asked that shy kid to fuck off in math today,"

"Yeah well he was being a little shit," I huffed, rolling my eyes at him. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"What is going on man? You're being a prick," he said, clearly annoyed. I didn't get him. He literally hadn't talked to me for a week and suddenly he was asking me to tell him all my issues.

"What is your problem? You pretend like I don't exist and when your significant other decides to stay at home your magically my friend again? Que te den." I said, raising my voice slightly. I was surprising myself being this aggressive. I didn't even know why I was being an asshole. I just, I didn't need this right now.

"That is not true, Luca," he said, angrily. He was getting riled up now. "And what the fuck does that even mean?"

"It means fuck off," I said, flipping him off.

He shoved me causing me to stumble back slightly. My eyes widened before shoving him right back. "What is your problem dude?" Dickson asked before he backed away from me. I knew he didn't want to fight, and to be honest neither did I. I didn't know why I was getting so mad.

I bit my lip as hard as I could before I felt the metallic taste pooling into my mouth. "Stop that," he said, whacking me on the side of the head. He knew that I bit my lip when I was trying to stop myself from doing anything worse to myself.

"I'm gay," I mumbled, looking at my feet. I don't know why I said it but I just blurted it out. After all, I knew he would be okay with it.

"Shit, hey, come here," he said, pulling me into a hug. It was weird that we were literally in the middle of the hallway but everyone was in the cafeteria so there was no one around. I held onto him as hard as I could, burying my head into his shoulder. "It's okay,"

"It's not okay. If anyone in my family finds out I don't know what I'm going to do," I said, pulling away from him, my voice wavering.

"That's not true. You know Angela will be okay with it right?" He said, patting me on the shoulder, reassuringly. "She cares about you more than anything. Plus, she was totally okay about Lily."

"I don't know," I said, running a hand through my curly mop of hair. "This is all too much,"

"Did you tell anyone else?" he asked and felt like someone punched me in the stomach.

I nodded. "Tyler,"

"And...what happened?" he asked, cautiously.

"I told him I liked him and now I think he hates me," I whispered, my voice cracking completely. God, I was pathetic.

"Oh fuck," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Was he the first?"

"The first one I came to terms with,"

"I'm so sorry, Luca," he said, looking at me sadly. "He's an idiot if he loses you over something like this. You're a great guy, you know that right?"

I let out a small chuckle. "I don't think I am,"

"Yes you are, you dweeb," he said, ruffling my hair with a smile. I shoved his hand away, my lips turning slightly upward as well.

•••

"Luca! Luca, wait up!" I heard someone call, they sounded quite breathless. I didn't look back at the person I just charged out of school. The bell had rung and wasn't spending an extra minute there. "Luca, oh my god, stop,"

I didn't stop, instead I walked faster. However, my increased speed wasn't enough to leave behind whoever it was, because I felt a hand on my shoulder soon after. I flinched before I turned to face the person with narrows eyes. "What do you want?" I snapped, before realizing that it was Anirudh. "Oh shit, sorry."

"What's got you so riled up?" He asked, raising his hands in mock surrender, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.

"It's nothing," I said, softly. I was still a bit scared of him, after all, he was a big guy and he could knock me out with a single blow anytime.

"I just wanted to ask if you want to get that sandwich?" He asked, with a smile. His chocolate brown skin seemed to be glowing. He seemed happy. Way too happy.

"Why are you all smily?" I blurted before I could stop myself. Something was up with me today. I was too exhausted to care about what I was saying. I felt out of control.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly offering me a lopsided smile. "Iris asked me out and I said yes,"

"Oh," I said, a bland expression covering my face. "That's nice,"

"You don't seem happy," he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking at my beat-up shoes. "I need to go,"

A look of disappointment covered his face. "Maybe another time then,"

I nodded, giving him a small smile. But that when a weird thought popped into my mind, I wanted to distract myself and maybe talking to someone who knew practically nothing about me might help. "Why do you want to be friends with me anyway?"

Anirudh looked very confused. "Why wouldn't I?" He said with a smile. "You're nice, and you clearly care about people,"

"Okay,"

"Okay?" He asked, eyeing me with a grin.

I shook my head, a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. "Yeah okay,"

"Wanna get the sandwich then?"

"Okay,"

"Okay?" He asked again, nudging me playfully.

"Shut up," I said, rolling my eyes though a smile had spread across my lips.

• • •

Looks like Anirudh scored a date with our beloved Iris. Two nice people together.

Also, proud of Luca for coming out to Dickson comments can go here.

-Anya