Inane Verbiage

XXI

I need to pee. Badly.

It's only when I'd just Ghost Skinned past the security gates that I realize that, and I nearly smack myself for that.

Trust my bladder to act up at time like this.

Mentally berating said anatomy, I grudgingly make my way to the toilet.

It turns out that it's a good thing I did though, because just as I'd been washing my hands by the sink (having sated that bladder of mine, while that stomach now decides to protest its hunger, dammit) a terribly out-of-tune, croaky voice starts up by the door as it bangs open.

I whirl around in an instant, eyes bugging out at the slight, wrinkled form that shuffles in, a familiar rock cupped in his palms. Since the residents of Paris are all but MIA right now, it can only be "Ay?"

He's too busy crooning in an unrecognizable language at the rock in his hands to notice me though, and it's only when I repeat his name the second time that he looks up, eyes narrowing when he notices me. "What are you doing here?!"

"What are you doing here? This is the ladies!" The shock has me blurting out, although that should be the last thing on my mind.

"What ladies?!" The ex-pharaoh looks indignant at my apparent accusation, drawing himself up to his full height (which would be impressive and all Lord-of-the-Rings-ish had he not been sulking like a kid with a temper tantrum. "This is the pharaoh's latrine! The pharaoh's latrine, I tell you! You're not a pharaoh! No no no you aren't! Get out get out get out! You are treading on sacred ground! Sacred ground!"

"Huh?" There's nothing I can do but blink at him in confusion for that.

Ay heaves an irritated sigh, slipping the Osiris stone into one hand before marching over and pulling the door open with his free limb. He jabs the sign with a trembling finger, glaring at me. "Pharaohs only! Me only! Get out!"

That's when I notice that he's dressed in traditional Ancient Egyptian pharaoh garb, complete with false beard (although why I don't know, considering the fact that he merely sticks it on his actual beard), headdress, bare torso (which is bony and full of wiry white hair - ew) and elaborately accordian-pleated kilt. Goodness knows where he got them. The kilt is so intricately pleated it isn't even funny.

And then I all but choke on my spit as I finally understand what his inane babbling (oh crap so now I'm quoting Eros) came from.

Az is wearing a kilt. A kilt. A kilt, that would look almost exactly like that dress the typical sign on female toilet doors tend to have if it were to be a silhouette.

Oh. Oh. Holy shizzle.

Afore-mentioned ex-pharaoh is still busy stamping his feet and pointing at the exit as he screams 'out out out out out!' in a voice that is steadily getting hoarser, though. I can't believe I ever compared him to an evil Gandalf.

"Ay," I start, uncertain on how to proceed when the Egyptian is so... adamant on kicking me out of the Ladies' (shouldn't he be making sure that I don't leave instead?). "This isnt-"

"Out!"

Oh jeez.

I decide to play along, since it's quite evident that he isn't about to listen to me anytime soon. Perhaps he'd be distracted enough that I can snatch the Osiris stone from him and run away before he notices. "I'll only go if you answer a couple questions."

The growl he lets out in response as he lets go of the door and launches himself at me tells me he isn't keen on that idea.

Well too bad. I go Ghost Skin and watch dispassionately as Ay simply passes through me and nearly bangs into the sink. "Did I forget to mention that I'm also half-ghost?" I smirk, stepping aside and going back to normal as he shakes his head as if to clear it and blinks at me in a mixture of confusion and fury. "Now you know. You can't hurt me, nor can you chase me out, so it's up to you, really."