Inane Verbiage

XIV

"I am never, ever riding a seahorse again," I declare as soon as we pull over at a dubious-looking inn for the night, practically hearing my bones creak as I all but stumble down the armored back of Rusty (har har har - a name said seahorse didn't really take a liking to, judging by the way it whipped it's (his? It seems like a male) head back to give me a glare when I first called it - him - that). "Never again." 

"It wasn't that bad," Eros says, slipping off his seahorse (which he named 'Horse' - I have absolutely no idea what to say to that) with ease.

 "Says you," I snarl, disgruntled. "My butt is so sore I don't think I'll be able to walk (swim - same thing!) around properly for days!" 

The god just rolls his eyes at that, snapping his fingers. And the ache in my lower torso all but fades to nothing as a wave of soothing coolness sweeps over it. 

"Thanks," I mutter, flexing my tail and unsurprised when it doesn't sent jolts of pain up my spine. "Still. I know most people haven't - and will never - ride a seahorse and I should be feeling lucky that I have such a chance, but I honestly, honestly wish I'd never gotten on that blasted creature." 

And it's true - while the swift rush of water past us may have been exhilarating at first (and the looks on the Mer's faces as they dodged past the seahorses aren't anything I'd forget anytime soon), I'm hardly eager to repeat the hours of armored scales digging painfully into my tailbone and leg cramps (and just the horrible bouncing in general) anytime soon. Much less the next four days. 

Especially if Az is going to do the same thing as he did today and ride non-stop ('oh just pee into the water - they can't tell the difference!' (apparently the holes for things like that - or sticky-out things for the males, at least - are between the two fins (and theirs can contract oh gosh ew), which is just kind of… gross)) till he thinks it's sleep time. (Said merman has already tethered his horse - 'Pegasus, because she swims through the water like how a flying horse would ride the wind' (or so he claims) - to the shell pole in the stables and gone into the inn to book rooms as Eros and I are still busy getting off our seahorses, that ass.)

"You have no choice either way," Eros points out, snapping his fingers.  "Life sucks. Deal with it." 

A kelp leash forms on Horse and loops around the pole on it's own. I look at the leash in my hands and the seahorse that is shying away from me and sigh. Blasted powers of his. 

*

I stalk into the inn seventeen and a half minutes later, Eros sniggering behind me as Az shoots us a questioning look from his spot by the counter, two keys dangling from his finger (knowing him, he probably booked the same types of rooms as he did in Broth). "What happened?" 

"Stupid seahorse," I growl in reply, a sullen look on my face even though Eros has since healed my bruises. "He thought it'd be good to use me as a punching bag when I tried to tie him to a pole, that's what."

 Az looks as though he wants to laugh at that, but the look I shoot him shuts him up in an instead. Smart man. Merman. Same difference. "The two of you are a total match made in heaven, I swear."

 Okay so maybe not that smart after all.

 "Go eat seahorse poop Az," I grumble, scowling (as Eros does nothing against that but smirk more - that useless bastard). "One more word and I'll leave you rotting in the ocean - I'm sure we'll find another way to get the stone from the Fae king."

The merman's eyes widen in panic at that. "Okay okay I'll shut up! Just don't tear me away from my prince!"

 And to his credit, he keeps his word - he doesn't mention a single thing about Eros and I after that, even though I catch him snickering to himself when he thinks we're not looking at times, especially when he hands us our room key. Three guesses why.