Inane Verbiage

X

 It's our tenth hour swimming in stony silence (with me gritting my teeth as I try not to break down and ask to rest my sore legs) when a huge black shadow looms in the horizon, a relief from the seemingly-endless blue water that had been the (only) scenery for the past hours.

 My curiosity overrules my pride at that, especially when said shadow seems to go on forever onto both sides and downwards. "What's that?"

Eros still seems sort of sullen (understandable, but not all that welcome), but he manages a gin even so, consulting the map that he'd taken out a couple hours into the swim (I'm pretty sure that's because we got lost - not that he'll admit it). "That? I do believe that's the start of the Mer kingdom."

 And sure enough, when we make our way to the top of what is apparently a huge, rocky cliff (that never seems to end - is this what whole countries look like underwater if we take away the shallow waters?), a sprawling forest of kelp and a scattering of curved, pearl-coloured shell houses meet our eyes.

 That's not what gets me speechless, though (even though the way the houses sparkle in the sunlight that filters through the sea is indeed rather impressive). Rather, what has me gaping in awe are the hoards of people (with that word used extremely loosely, once again) milling around, all of them with bare upper torsos (or, in the case of the females, flimsy bras that barely cover anything) and hair the colour of the very thing I'm gawking the most at - the six-feet long tails spreading out behind them, flexing lazily as they mill about.

 "Whoa," Eros whistles, looking as amazed at the sight as I am.

"I know right?" I breathe out, swimming closer reverently. "It's so beautiful." 

He blinks at me for that, brow furrowing. (Apparently we make up as quickly as we argue. Huh.) "Are you sure we're talking about the same thing here? Because if we are, I'll just let you know that I'm not exactly all that comfortable around homosexuals."

 "Huh?" It's my turn to stare at him in confusion. "Aren't you talking about those tails of theirs..?"

 He scoffs in response, a lecherous grin creeping over his face. "Not quite. Think about ten inches higher, on the females."

 What- oh. Oh. "You pervert!" I all but screech out, scooting away from him.

  "As if you weren't staring at the bare chests of those mermen," he shoots back hotly, a light flush staining his cheeks as he shoots ahead, moving towards mermaid territory. 

I linger behind, studying said anatomical part in bewilderment. Being more mesmerized by the glittering tails, I'd barely given them a glance in passing, but now that he mentioned it… "Eros! Look what you make me do!" 

*

 Apparently the journey into Mermaid Land isn't as easy as it seems.

 "Ow!" I can't help but cry out, clutching my throbbing forehead.

 Eros seems to suffer the same fate as well, hissing in pain as he probes the air (water, really) beside him. "Transparent wall. Huh. Not that surprising." 

I shoot him a dry glance. "You could have warned me about that before I merrily crashed head-first into the damn thing." 

He shrugs unapologetically, waving a hand dismissively. "No matter."

 And then he snaps his fingers and proceeds to poke the water around him, nodding to himself in satisfaction as he apparently gets the results he had been seeking. "Done. Come on, Toilet Girl - I can't push the wall aside for long," he beckons, swimming forward confidently.