Curse! (Attack on Titan Fanfiction Sasha x Traitor Male Reader)

Chapter 12

Why did I let such a weak people control me? No... I didn't let him control me... The world... the god choose to do this to me to show everyone is not perfect. Am I perfect if I have the power to control myself? No. I'm not perfect. Be able to control myself is like Bertholdt is dead and no one will control me but... the moment I lose Bertholdt, I'm not perfect without my other half. I will never be perfect.

Sasha... the person who show me how freedom feels like. She befriend everyone. Because she know no one can stop her from befriending someone. She's the one to decide what she could do. Me... I didn't learn what freedom is... and yet I want to learn to love other people? That's not how world work right? I need to learn from the beginning.

People... They have friends, family and hope to live on. What about me? The reason for me to live is to protect the warrior. But I fail... I fail to save Marcel...Annie...And soon Reiner and Bertholdt. My only friend and family is myself. Why? I'm not real...just a copycat, with different personality and look. But what can I do? It's my fate and I need to accept who I am.

You need to love yourself in order to love other people. Mom told Bert that while I listen from other room. What a bullshit, I didn't love myself and yet...I love a person...who show me how wonderful this world is even if your life is hard...continue living and you will see how beautiful the world is. But she show me how strong her love is toward herself...making me realize that if I don't love myself...I will get ill and die without even having chance to confess to her.

People hate me, yes I know it. But I'm not born to make everyone love me. I was born to become a successful people that can change the world into a better place. I might start from a bad start but I will make it a good ending. Even if I need to leave everyone behind to make them live in a better place...I will do it.

The good people are always the one who become bad. No they didn't become bad...it's just they change because of a reason. They will change but to change they need someone to lead them back to the beginning. Is there even anyone who volunteer to lead them? The people who pray for a hope to help them change?

I was always getting left behind even when I'm good at fighting than my friends. Why? No matter how strong you are...it doesn't help you to make the people you love stay. They don't want your strength...they want your love and attention. They want you for who you are, not who people want you to be. You need to be yourself and show to those people that you has your own talent without becoming smart or strong. You have a loving heart and that is what matter.

I was left behind and they saw me. It's their fault to leave me behind without a reason but we don't need to do any mistake to say sorry. Solve the problem by saying sorry even if it's not your fault. That will make them realize it's their fault and they will know you care about them enough to take the blame.

Yes...I'm nothing but a slave and I want to die so bad. I really want to die and I know you too. But I remember I don't want to miss how this world would look 10 years later, Will I get a second chance to prove I didn't mean to become humanity enemy? Will I get to marry her? Will the humanity get their victory? Will the warrior win? Will I ever have a child who will continue my generation? Will I become one of the legendary character all people write in history or story? I'm not giving up my life yet. Not now and forever. 

This is a new start of my life. 

Thank you...for teaching me how to live in this world.