Our Song

Our Song (35)

The sun had definitely not been my friend lately.

As it peaked through my curtains and shined right into my face as I laid in my bed, I wanted nothing more than to rearrange my room so my bed was somewhere the sun wouldn't disturb me. I even wished I slept in my closet so I'd be surrounded by darkness and not the stupid sun.

I was glad that school was out in only a couple of days. After that, I wouldn't have to leave the house at all and I could just wallow away until Blake woke up. If that time was to ever even come.

"Leah," my mother snapped at me Saturday morning, turning on my light and whacking me over the head with a newspaper. I knew that she wasn't trying to hurt me, which was good, because it didn't hurt at all. "You have to get up. It's twelve o'clock in the afternoon. It might be a Saturday, and it might almost be summer, but that doesn't mean I'll let you just wither away in your bed like this."

Couldn't she just let me wither away like I wanted to? Or at least until school started back up in August? I couldn't think of one thing I had to do over the summer, and the thought of doing nothing sounded great.

"Aren't you going to go to Sean's graduation?" my mother asked me now, and she might have as well hammered my head in. "You've been friends for so long that I think you should probably go with the rest of us."

His graduation wasn't until the following Saturday, but that ruined my plans for not doing anything. I honestly did want to go see him graduate, but at the same time I didn't. Not only did it require me to get out of bed, but it also reminded me that he was no longer going to be in the same school as me. He might have been going to a college nearby, but it just wasn't the same.

"I'll go, Mom," I sighed, burying myself in my covers once again now. "It's not just his graduation, but my friend Elias's too. But just leave me alone until then, will you?"

My mother was about to snap back at me, but stopped because she knew that it was no use. No matter what she said, there was no way I was going to be fully able to listen.

I heard her make her way over to my door, but she stopped before she could exit. I continued to just lie there, wishing that she'd just leave my room already.

"I know you're upset about Blake, Leah, but you can't act this way forever," she told me now, but I still didn't look up at her. "How do you think Blake would feel about this right now? Do you think he'd want you locked up in your room all day, depressed over something neither of you have control over?"

This knocked the wind right out of me. I was not expecting this from my mother, of all people. I hadn't even thought this way at all. For the two weeks that Blake had been gone, I never even thought about what he could have been thinking of all this. I knew for a fact that he wouldn't want me to be all alone and depressed in my room.

So once my mother went back downstairs, I pushed myself out of bed and made my way over to my dresser. I stared straight at myself in the mirror, not believing I had let myself get the way I was right then.

The bags under my eyes were so bad that it looked like I had gotten punched in the face multiple times. My blonde hair was a mess, and I couldn't remember the last time I had properly brushed it. Had I gone out of the house every single day looking like this, or had it suddenly gotten this bad?

It was definitely time to take a shower. Without even thinking twice about it, I barged right into the hallway and down the hall toward the bathroom. I wasn't about to let my hair become a rat's nest.

It felt like I had spent hours in the shower, even though I really just spent about forty-five minutes. It felt nice being in fresh clothes that weren't all black, and I had almost forgotten how great it felt wearing these kinds of clothes. Just wearing a bright outfit made me feel a little bit better about what was going on.