Our Song

Our Song (33)

School was boring. And when I say that, I mean it's even more boring than usual. It was getting harder and harder to get through the day, and I never thought I'd ever feel this upset about something. Obviously I hadn't ever lost someone I loved before.

My desk was cold, but it was no different from anything else. Ever since Blake had been put in the hospital, everything was so much colder. It was like all my warmth went away with him.

He still wasn't awake. The doctors said that he was in a coma, and they couldn't tell when he was going to wake up. So here I was, on the day the song was due, all along with no partner to be there with me.

I rested my head on my arms, my earphones in my ears, the music blasting so loud that I was sure people could hear it. But I didn't care, because I had been like this ever since Blake had been put in the hospital. I just didn't care about anything else, and the teachers seemed to understand that there was no way I could concentrate any longer.

At least it was so close to the end of the school year that it didn't matter anymore. Except for English, there were no other projects I had in any of my classes that would dramatically change my grade. I was passing all my classes, so I was fine. I could slack off for the rest of the year and it wouldn't even matter anymore.

I turned down my music to listen to everyone perform their songs, because I was actually interested in what was going to happen. I hadn't been paying attention to anyone else the entire year, so I didn't know how their songs could have gone.

Danny and Marissa had gone up and performed their song, Marissa saying how much she loathed him while he was pretty much saying how he was practically obsessed with her. The entire class laughed, and I would have as well if I didn't feel so depressed. All I could do during the funny parts of their song was barely smile, as if it pained me or something.

I really did hope that how I felt was going to change. It had only been a week since Blake had slipped into a coma, and I didn't feel any signs of feeling better. All I could do was hope that things were going to get better for me and everyone else.

Leslie and Derrick went up a few groups after Danny and Marissa, and their song went just like I thought it would. They both sang about how they ignored each other at first, then tolerated each other before becoming friends and eventually falling in love. Derrick played the piano, which surprised me because I didn't know he could play, while Leslie just sang along with him.

It made me wonder how Blake's and my song would have went if we had ever actually finished it. The few verses that we had finished were things I couldn't even remember now, so there was no point in even trying to go up there and perform it by myself. I was going to have to retake the class over the summer and there was nothing I could do about it.

"The next two are Leah and Bl—" Mrs. Sparks began, but then quickly cut herself off when she realized what she was about to say. She looked over at me, along with the rest of the class, and I only sat there, almost completely emotionless, like I had been ever since Blake had been unconscious. Mrs. Sparks almost looked scared as she now said, "Leah, you don't have to go up. You've already gotten an A."

"No," I found myself saying now, pulling my earphones out of my ears and standing up from my seat. "I want to go."

I didn't really know what I was doing, but I wasn't going to allow myself to get an A just because my partner was in the hospital, no matter how sad I was. I wasn't the kind of person that would just accept a free grade just because the teacher felt bad that my boyfriend was in a coma.

Mrs. Sparks didn't stop me from going up, and I stop myself from cringing at all the stares I was getting. I had been getting stared at ever since everyone had found out what happened to Blake, and people stopping me in the halls to tell me how sorry they were did not help me at all. It just made everything worse. I thought listening to music would make it stop, but it definitely didn't.